Loyalties
by WOWZAcoolBEANS
Summary: When Allen turns into a Noah he has but one choice, to leave the Order, but the bonds that he had made with his friends would not break that easily. Struggling with the feelings that he has for his former friends, he embraces his Noah. Allen/Lenalee. DO NOT READ THIS.
1. Parting

**Title:** Loyalties

**Synopsis:** Slightly A/U. When Allen turned into a Noah he had but one choice, to leave the Order, but the bonds that he had made with the people there would never break that easily, even though he wishes that they would. Struggling with the feelings that he has for his former friends, Allen dives into the world of the Noah. Allen/Lenalee.

**Rating: **T

**A/N**: I have no bloody clue where this one came from. Mostly procrastination on my homework, but that's okay. I guess this would be sort of an A/U where the 14th in Allen made him into a Noah, himself. I guess. Maybe? Sure. I may actually make this a chapter fic at a future point. After writing it I thought to myself 'Hm. This is a neat story, and could probably work. Star-crossed lovers and all.' If I get a chance, I'll add more. ^.^ But for now, relax, read and please review.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own -Man because if I did then we'd know why Lavi has that sexy, sexy eye patch.

--

"And it may take some time to patch me up inside, but I can't take it so I run away and hide. And I may find in time that you were always right, you're always right."

-'Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning) by Vertical Horizon

--

He wondered, would his skin always be like this? Gently his hand reached up to his forehead and touched the place where the scars had appeared just a few minutes ago. They were tender and it was painful to touch them; they had not yet healed. Bring his hand back down he took a moment to stare at it, flexing each finger as if it were some sort of foreign object that he had never seen before.

There was a quiet voice from behind him. "Allen?" It whispered. He turned to see a fearful looking Lenalee staring at his new state. "Allen, is that you?" Though the gray skin and scars changed his appearance, he didn't think that he looked _that_ different from what he used to be. After all, the white hair was still there.

"Of course it is." He said taking a step towards her. Instantly Lenalee took a step backwards. "Nothing has changed." In his left hand he could still see the Innocence implanted. Sort of hypocritical of that substance to chose someone who was born to kill it to be its master. "It's still me; it's still Allen."

The words were a lie, and he knew it from the moment the words left his lips. Everything was much more clear now; there was a purpose to life that he had never known before. Soon the Earl would come and take him and together they would right the wrongs of the obnoxious God that these meager humans worshiped so. No, he was no longer Allen Walker, useless exorcist and killer of Akuma. Now he would be something greater and he would serve a bigger purpose.

Although, a pang of regret hit him when he saw the fear in Lenalee's eyes. If he were to go with his most beloved Earl, there would be some things that he would have to do. One of those things would be kill the exorcists, including, Lenalee Lee. Though it would be hard, the vast loyalty to the Millennium Earl that seemed to manifest itself within a few minutes was already pulling tight. If the time came and he had to, Allen knew that he would kill Lenalee, and all of the other exorcists, without a second thought.

Then again, there was nothing threatening happening, and his Noah brothers were not present yet, so he would do nothing. He would give this girl the reassurance that she wanted to badly and he would leave the Black Order and go on to find the Earl and the people whom he belonged with.

Instinctively, Lenalee took a step towards her friend. If this were the same person on the inside, then it shouldn't matter that he was a Noah. Allen would never do anything to hurt her or the other exorcists, and he had promised that no matter what happened he would be forever loyal to their cause to defeat the Millennium Earl. It didn't matter that his skin had changed colors and there were now more unfamiliar scars on his face. At the end of the day this boy in front of her would always be Allen Walker, and he would never do anything to hurt her.

Giving in, Lenalee rushed to Allen's arms. "Allen, I'm so glad that you're alright." His skin was still warm and his heart still beat; though he was a Noah, he was truly still human. That must have meant something.

Underneath the dead weight of the exorcist, Allen felt trapped. Noah and exorcists should not be friendly with one another. He would have to leave, and he would have to leave quickly. His loyalty to the Earl was far too great to string these people along and make them believe that he was still an ally of theirs. No, they would have to recognize the fact that he was now one with the Earl, and their old friend would not be returning.

"Lenalee," Allen said as he gently removed the girl off of him. "I need to go now."

With eyes like a deer's, the girl stared at him for a moment before responding. "What do you mean, Allen?" A look of dread set in. "Don't think that just because you have the Noah DNA that we'll hate you! Me, Lavi, Krory, Miranda…. and everyone else here will always welcome you, don't think that we'll stop liking you because you're different." Allen shook his head, his gray skin shining in the sunlight.

"It's not that." He said. "There are some other things that I need to do now."

As the realization of what he was saying set in, the look on Lenalee's face turned cold. "You don't mean that you're going to…" She trailed off, not needing to finish. Allen knew the implications of her sentence, and he nodded in response to them. Suddenly Lenalee felt faint. "Why?" She asked quietly, a few tears dripping down from her eyes. Unexpectedly she grew hostile. "Why?!" She screamed as she pounded her fists on Allen's chest. He winced a little from the surprise, but it was relatively painless. "Why would you leave us Allen? We need you!"

Seeing Lenalee like this hurt Allen, because he cared for her. He always had and a part of him, however small, always would. But relationships between exorcists and the clan of Noah would not work. Love would be overtaken by hate eventually on each side. It was better for him to feign indifference and get this over with. "Lenalee, I wouldn't expect you to understand this, but I know where I belong now, and it's not here." He took her hands off of his chest and set them down at her sides. "It's not with you."

The words stung Lenalee so hard that she felt that she could not move. It wasn't until Allen was almost out of the room that they had been standing in that she felt that she could say anything. "I won't fight you, Allen. Even if you go to their side, I'll never fight you."

Sadly, he shook his head, though she could not see. "You'll fight me Lenalee, just as you'll fight the rest of us. Because if you don't, you will die." He paused for a moment. "I won't hold back."

Sighing, Allen began to walk again, but was surprised to find Lenalee in front of him. Looking down he saw that her Innocence was activated, probably by her emotions, which was how she got there so quickly. "Allen, you're still an exorcist and you always will be. I refuse to fight my own kind."

Irritated, he wanted her to move aside; he wanted her to move so that he could leave that place and try to figure out how to handle this. It wasn't that he wanted to fight Lenalee either, he just didn't have a choice not to, and that was something that he was struggling with. "I'm no longer an exorcist Lenalee, I'm a Noah. There's nothing that you can do. We're enemies now." The hostility in his voice was new. Only once had he ever spoken to this girl like that; it wasn't pleasant and it wasn't something that he wanted to continue.

"As long as that Innocence is in your hand, Allen, you will never be my enemy." Again surprising the new Noah, Lenalee grabbed that hand, and used it to pull Allen closer to her. The marks of where the tears she had cried were still prominent on her face. "And as long as you're alive, I'll still care about you." Her hand still clenched around Allen's she drew her face forward until it reached his, and before Allen could figure out what was happening, her lips were on his.

Once before Allen had kissed a girl, and that barely counted. Road had jumped on him unexpectedly, and Allen desperately wanted to forget that event, especially because now the two of them were almost siblings. This kiss was much different. All of the feelings that he felt for Lenalee were real and were important to him, but with the fact that he was now a Noah… It couldn't work.

Unwillingly, he pushed himself away from her. "What are you doing?" He asked. "This isn't right. You can't care about me, and I can't care about you." He felt a tear fall from his eye and he wondered why. Things were changing rapidly, and he knew that, but somehow the momentum seemed right until just a moment ago. But that kiss would never be erased from his mind; it would forever haunt him.

A soft finger reached up to his face and wiped the tear away. "Allen, who says that? I don't care about what you are, I just know who you are, and that's what I love." The words were almost too much for Allen to bear. It wasn't his place to be with Lenalee any longer; he was supposed to be with the Earl. But how could he leave her after all the two of them had been through? And how would they be able to have any sort of relationship when Allen was supposed to be killing her and vice versa? "Go ahead and be a Noah, but I'll be waiting here for you until I die. No one could ever take your place."

"Lenalee, I-" The words had difficulties coming from his throat. They were stuck, as if they knew that once they were said their lives would be that much harder, that saying the words would ensure that both of their existences would be tortured so much more than they would have ever expected. "I love you."

There was a noise from behind them, a familiar noise that Allen had conjured up numerous times for the sake of the Order. It was the sound of an Ark being brought into the room. Apparently the Earl wasn't going to wait; he was going to claim his new Noah immediately. "Run!" Allen whispered, not wanting Lenalee to be hurt. "They're coming for me, so just get out of here."

The girl stubbornly shook her head. "No Allen, I'm not leaving you." Her hands grabbed onto his clothes and he realized for the first time that he was still wearing his exorcist uniform, something that was rather unfitting for a Noah. "Stay with us Allen! We can fight them off if we're all together."

This time it was Allen who shook his head. They only had a few moments before whoever was coming came, and he had to explain. "Lenalee, it's not that simple. I can't stay. There's a part of me, a huge part of me, which is now loyal to the Earl. If I don't follow him, it will kill me from the inside out." There were footsteps now, and a laughing voice. It wasn't the Earl, it was Tyki Mikk. Still not good, but it wasn't the worst-case scenario. "Goodbye. Don't tell anyone where I've gone." The last thing he needed was his righteous former friends attempting to go to the Earl's lair and trying to bring him back to the Order.

"Are you two done? The Earl doesn't want to wait, lad." Tyki sauntered over to where the two of them were. There was a cigarette in his mouth as he spoke. "Everyone is waiting for your arrival, Fourteenth."

Allen found that when he looked at Tyki it was no longer with hatred. The man who had tried, and almost succeeded in killing him, was no longer an object of his hatred and terror. Instead there was sort of a forced brotherly feeling towards him now. They were in the same boat now, comrades almost like family. There would be no killing on either side. He nodded towards Tyki and gently forced Lenalee's hands off of his clothing. "No." She whispered, but it was useless.

Allen turned and silently followed Tyki into the portal that their Ark had created. Once they walked inside, Allen stopped for a moment. "What happened when you had to leave your friends for the Earl?" He asked as a few tears slipped from his eyes.

Allen got a laugh in response. "I would have never had to if it weren't for you, lad."

The response shocked Allen. He knew that he had taken the human part of Tyki away when he had hit the man with his Sword of Exorcism, but he had not realized that he still had human connections at that point. "I'm sorry." He whispered as he continued to follow Tyki, his head facing downwards with despair.

Tyki took a long drag on his cigarette and let the smoke swirl away before responding slowly and deliberately. "Don't worry lad, it was all for fun. I never had anyone who I cared about all that much." A picture of Eeze, now just a distant memory, popped into his brain. There were times when he really missed the kid. "No one who I was in love with, anyway." He concluded as he flicked the used cigarette stub to the ground. "No one like that girl."

"There will never be anyone like that girl."

Forcing thoughts of her out of his mind, Allen continued to follow Tyki to their destination, mostly in silence, though occasionally a bit of a hummed tune came from Tyki. It was an unfamiliar song to Allen, but the sound of it was a bit reassuring. Finally, they reached a door and stopped in front of it. Opening the door, Tyki remarked "Here we are." And stepped inside. Closely, Allen followed.

Together they entered a dark room of floating portraits and a long table filled with other Noahs. As soon as Allen entered Road ran up to him and flung herself on him. "Welcome!" She said, and as if echoing her, most of the other people at the table said the same thing as well.

A few moments later the silence was broken by a cheerful voice at the head of the table. "Welcome Allen Walker, the Fourteenth, please take a seat, it's time that we talk about your duties as a Noah." The Millennium Earl said with his usual smiling face.

Feeling a surge of loyalty to this man Allen nodded and let himself be lead to his seat by Road. "What would you like me to do, my Lord Millennium?"

Delighted, the Earl clapped his hands together. "What an excellent apostle! Gets right to the point. Well then, if we are to be blunt, than I shall put this bluntly." There was a pause in his voice, and Allen noticed the eyes of everyone at the table on him. "Allen Walker, it is your job to tell me everything you know about those despicable exorcists so we may kill them all!"

Allen's heart sunk into his chest. This was the moment that he knew was coming, but had dreaded. But he also knew that he could not go against his Lord, and that in the end the Noah would prevail. Sighing and shutting his eyes for a moment, he opened them to reveal a face as serious as death. "I'll tell you everything that you want to know, my Lord." He only hoped that Lenalee would be able to run away fast enough.

--

_Fin_


	2. Family

**Chapter Title:** Family

**Chapter Description:** As a strange welcoming into the family, Tyki and Road come to see Allen during his first night as a Noah. Even as he's having trouble adjusting, the Earl brings some news that makes Allen quite unhappy.

**A/N: **So, I decided to continue this! Yay! I guess if I'm continuing it then I need to give you some info, eh? I'm setting this after the Timothy arc, except Wisely and the other Noahs have been found and whatnot. By the way, Tyki and Road are both going to be big characters, along with Lavi, Bookman, Lenalee and possibly Krory and Komui. I'm not sure about who else yet, but there will be lots of mentions of other characters as well. I'm hoping I can find a way to bring Cross into the story as well, somehow. Anyway, relax, read and please review! I'd like to give mad props to everyone who has reviewed so far, you all have made my day. Oh, and there's just a bit of Lulubell bashing in this chapter. Sorry. I hate her.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own -Man, because if I did then Bak Chan would be appreciated far more for the fantastic person who he is.

--

"Place all your bets and watch me lose the life that I got but never used."

-'Out Through the Curtain' by The Hush Sound

--

It was hard to sleep that night. The lack of familiarity with his surroundings was unnerving and the fear from sleeping in the same place as so many that had wanted to kill him before was unsettling. Though there were no hard feelings from anyone, it made him anxious to sleep under the same roof. Each Noah had their own special and personalized room in the ark; Allen's was not yet ready, though the Earl, his new master, assured him that it would be exactly to his liking.

So, until the time that the room was properly prepared, he was to sleep in a comfortable but plain room. Apparently it had belonged to a former reincarnation of the Lustful Noah long ago, but had stood empty for some time. The walls were painted white and were devoid of any sort of decoration or ornamentation. There was a bed, a desk and an empty dresser. Since Allen had brought nothing with him, not even Timcanpy, there was nothing to fill the dresser with.

It would be easy to conjecture, however, that his lack of shut eye stemmed from the fact that at dinner that evening he had betrayed each and every one of his friends, telling the Earl the structure of the Order, where its weak points were and the personalities and weaknesses of each exorcist, but it wasn't true. And the tears that fell from Allen's eyes did not come from the fact that he was a traitor to everything that he had formerly believed in, they came from all of the pain that his head was in from his transformation.

"Having some trouble adjusting, lad?" The smell of smoke spread through the room, and Allen turned to see Tyki sitting on the desk on the opposite side of the room from the bed that Allen was lying in.

It wasn't surprising to Allen that he wouldn't have much privacy here. Being a former exorcist there would be a certain aura of suspicion surrounding him at least for the first few days that he was staying there. It was perfectly obvious to him that he would not be allowed to be anywhere alone for quite some time, but it still surprised him a bit that it was Tyki that the Earl sent to check in on him. "How did you get in here?"

"My special skills." Allen sighed; he had momentarily forgotten about Tyki's ability to selectively choose what he wanted to touch. It would be absolutely no problem for him to get into Allen's room without any warning at all. That was not a reassuring fact in Allen's mind. "But that's irrelevant, lad. I'm bored. Let's play some cards." Allen just stared; that was just about the last thing that he expected him to say, in fact. "It's been a long time since I've had anyone to play with. Humor me for a bit."

Allen turned his head from Tyki to the ceiling. "I'm trying to sleep." Was his excuse, though it was a weak one. Anyone who looked at the boy could see that he was too troubled to sleep that night.

Anyone, in this instance, included Tyki. Even on the grey face of a Noah a person could see remnants of tears, stress and betrayal. Tyki would know; he had those same feelings multiple times after becoming a Noah. But nevertheless, there was a part of Tyki who respected Allen; at least he wasn't trying to take the easy way out of this and keep contact with the exorcists. For Allen there would be no double life; he would live the rest of his days as a Noah if he continued this way. A commendable thought, in some respects.

"Well, quit trying then and play some cards." Finishing the cigarette that he was smoking, Tyki put it out by grinding the butt into the wooden table. As he spoke, he took his pack of cigarettes from his pocket and put one in his mouth. "No one here can play a decent game except for the Earl, and he's a bit too busy to waste his time with aces and spades. Road's too childish, Skin was too stupid, Jasdero has too little of an attention span, Wisely can read my mind and know when I'm cheating and Lulubell is too snobbish. That leaves you and me. Do you have a deck, or should I go get one?"

In response Allen shut his eyes and tried to block out the sound of a match being struck and the smell of smoke coming from the newly lit cigarette. Tyki's habits reminded him of his master, no, his former master's habits. Either way, it still disgusted him. But the pictures that ran through his head were almost as disgusting, in a different sort of way. The only images that he could envision were those of Lenalee Lee. Smiling, laughing, fighting and the disturbing scenes of her crying. The one thing that he could not shake was the image of the two of them, their lips touching and the way that his heart had pounded as they had done that.

When he saw the boy's eyes fly open, Tyki continued to talk. "You know, that time that we played together really stuck with me. When I was killing you (the time that I didn't actually succeed, I mean) I really regretted the fact that I was taking one of the best cheaters that I had ever met. You really-"

"Those people who were with you on the train," Allen said suddenly, sitting up in his bed. "They were human, right?" Laughing, Tyki nodded. "Was that before you became a Noah?"

None of the other Noahs, with the exception of Road, had ever bothered to ask about his double life. The Earl knew, of course, but that was to be expected. The Earl knew everything about his pawns at all times; without that knowledge he would not be able to run the sort of operation that he did. Nevertheless, it was vaguely touching that Allen was asking about that, even if it was for the kid's on selfish purposes. "Yes, they were human and no, it wasn't before I became a Noah." He paused. "They were just friends of mine."

For a moment Allen stared at Tyki; he didn't know what to think. He wouldn't have thought that his killer would have been a good friend with the creatures that he was supposed to be killing. "Who were they?" The words popped out of his mouth before he could control himself; Allen was curious. There must have been something pretty special about these people to capture the attention of Tyki Mikk.

Momentarily Tyki looked a bit surprised at the question, but then after taking a drag on his cigarette he chuckled a bit to himself. "Just a couple of coal miners. Nothing too special about any of them. The two-knucklehead guys are sort of funny at times though. Eeze, the kid, he's something special. It'd be nice to get him into a school or something." He paused to put his cigarette in between his lips. Allen noticed that he wasn't wearing his vagabond clothes or a tuxedo. Instead he was in the sort of casual clothes that Allen would have never imagined a Noah to have. "He's unusually smart. Kept the three of us in line."

"It sounds like you all were close, even though they were humans. That's sort of out of character for a Noah." There was a bitter edge to his voice that Allen didn't mean to have. It wasn't that he didn't want to be a Noah, or did he? He didn't know; he was unsure of his feelings. What he did know, however was that there was no turning back now. For the rest of his life he would be loyal to the Millennium Earl, and that was something that he didn't want to change. This was his home now, and he would eventually forget about the humans that he left behind.

For the first time of the evening, Tyki's face turned from cordial to irritated. "You sell us all short, Walker. We're not all sheep. That's only Lulu." He chuckled a bit at his own joke, but the noise was different from when he was laughing earlier. There was an edge to the noise that made the hair at the back of Allen's neck prickle. "I have my own mind, and yes, I'm loyal to the Lord Millennium, but it doesn't mean that I don't have my own opinions." There was silence as smoke, once again, seeped out of Tyki's mouth. "Some humans have their purpose. Those three idiots were some of those humans."

"You seem to have a weak spot for those guys." Allen said quietly, not making eye contact any longer.

Trying desperately not to lose his temper, Tyki spoke calmly. "It's the same with you and your exorcist friends. They were to me what your Order friends are to you. As impossible as it may seem, a person can learn to like another person and because of that they don't want to see their names slandered and-"

"Tyki, I think it's time that you left Allen alone." From a crack in the door, a voice came. "You don't want to frighten him on his first night here, now do you?"

Sighing, Tyki stuck another cigarette butt on the desk. "Don't worry Road, I think he's already been traumatized enough by our family. A bit more by me won't hurt him any." There was now a small charred mark in the place where Tyki was angrily grinding the former cigarette. Anger oozed from him as he spoke. "Now why are you here, Road?"

Laughter came from the girl as the door opened revealing her entire body. Slowly, she walked into the room and sat down next to Allen. "Same reason you are here Tyki, I'm worried about Allen." The girl put an arm around Allen's shoulders; she was warmer than he was.

"I don't think your father appreciates you late-night escapades." He was no onto his third cigarette, and Allen was starting to fear that his room would become a chimney. An image of a room full of air filters came to Allen's mind as to what Tyki's room probably looked like. "And I wasn't worried about the idiot, I was bored." The nonchalance in his voice was forced, and both Allen and Road knew that he was lying. Neither one, however, would call him out on it. "He's good at cards and I'm good at cards. It's natural that I'd want to play a bit."

Road set her head on Allen's shoulder. "But you're using your scary voice right now. Has my Allen done anything to upset you?" There was a giggle in her voice as she turned her attention to Allen. "Have your old exorcist habits reared their ugly head?"

"No." His voice was cold, colder than he meant it to be.

As she began to snuggle up closer to Allen, Road continued to giggle. "You're not in a very good mood, are you Allen?" Choosing to ignore her, he tried to inch a bit away from her. "Tyki, try to cheer him up a little, will you?"

Sighing, Tyki took another drag on his cigarette. "Could you stop that?" Allen asked quietly, but with a deadly undertone to his whisper.

Surprised, Tyki looked up. "What?"

In that moment, it seemed like Allen Walker had finally cracked. "I said stop smoking you damn idiot, it's disgusting!" It was an unusual sort of outbreak, and the two other Noahs stared at the boy. In her surprise, Road even dropped her arms from around Allen and leaned back a little bit.

There was a knock at the door, and it opened to reveal the Earl. "Allen-pon," Tyki groaned at the nickname that the Earl had given to Allen. Apparently he was now the favorite, and though Tyki was glad to be rid of the idiotic nickname, he still felt bad for the kid for inheriting it. "It's late now, you should be sleeping. Road, Tyki-pon," Tyki groaned again, apparently he was not yet off the hook. "Leave my new apostle alone for the night. You all can play together in the morning, especially because I have a mission for the three of you!" The way that the Earl spoke was full of child-like excitement. When Allen was an exorcist he had thought that the Earl's speech patterns were frightening, but now he just found them endearing. "I've decided that we're going to take out the Asian Branch of the Black Order, and I'm leaving you three to do that."

Immediately, Road's face lit-up. "Are you serious?!" The Earl nodded and Road jumped up and gave him a hug. "That's wonderful! Thank you so much!" Tyki nodded at his master, but Allen sat there silent.

Images of the people at the Asian branch ran through his head. Bak Chan, Fou, Rou Fa… They would all become casualties if they were to attack. There would be no warning and there weren't any exorcists there to make a counter attack. The worst part was that without Allen and his powers to control the Ark, there was no way that reinforcements would be able to make it in time.

Tyki took a deliberate drag from his cigarette, not caring about Allen's outburst a few moments before. "That's quite an honor, Lord Millennium. We'll do our best. Right, lad?" Numbly, Allen nodded, not quite sure what to do.

He knew that he would have to fight these people, that his former friends were now the people he would be expected to kill, but Allen had thought that it would have taken a longer time. That possibly the memories of the people who he had once known would fade with time and it would hurt less to destroy the people themselves. Apparently, his wish to have a little time to himself for thought would not happen.

"Ah good!" The Earl said. "Now get some rest, you three. I want tomorrow to go smoothly and with no mistakes!" His attention turned to Allen. "No one is to make it out of there alive." With those words, the Earl left the room, humming softly to himself. Immediately all attention turned to Allen.

"You feeling alright, lad?" Tyki asked as he put out the cigarette. The actual caring in his voice made Allen want to be sick. If it weren't for the brotherly love that was being forced upon him by his Noah DNA, he would be trying to strangle the man. "You look sort of sick."

Road crawled closer to Allen, but didn't dare to touch him. "Don't worry Allen. We're your family now, and family looks out for one another. The Earl wouldn't have you do this unless it was for your own good." Gently, she lifted her arms and held Allen. "We all love you Allen, and all we ask is that you love us in return."

Not able to fight them anymore, a few tears fell down from Allen's face and onto Road's back.

--

_Fin._

Coming in chapter three: While Allen adjusts to his life as a Noah, Lenalee has a hard time going on without Allen by her side. Even knowing that they're supposed to be enemies now, she can't bring herself to hate him or to tell the rest of the Order the truth about him being a Noah. So what will happen when the clan of Noah, including Allen, attacks the Asian Branch and a witness escapes? Wait for chapter three to find out!


	3. Destruction

**Chapter Title:** Destruction

**Chapter Description:** Lenalee refuses to tell anyone about Allen, and keeps it within her though Lavi tries to get it out of her. The Noahs attack the Asia branch, and in a moment of weakness, let one person escape.

**A/N: **This isn't the best written thing I've ever… well… written. But it's been a busy week; I had finals, plus my birthday was on the eleventh. It's sort of lucky that I just got this out on time. I'm going to try to update on every Friday, by the way. There's just a wee bit of character death in this chapter, just so you know, but it's not anyone who is a generally loved character.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own -Man, because if I did then Toma would make more appearances.

--

"Tell me what I'm supposed to do with all these leftover feelings of you, 'cause I don't know. Tell me how I'm supposed to feel when all these nightmares become real, 'cause I don't know."

-'Roadside' by Rise Against

--

Through the day, Lenalee pretended that everything was normal, fine and dandy. During dinner she was even able to force a smile onto her face when Lavi made some sort of joke, though later she couldn't remember what it was about. But forcing herself to laugh was quite an accomplishment, all things considered and all circumstances taken into account.

The truth was, however, that on the inside Lenalee felt like she was falling apart. Allen was like family to her; family, and even more than that. For a long time she had known that she had been in love with Allen. Actually, she thought that she had realized it when she had first thought of losing Allen when they were in China. Never before had she been in such abject despair as when she thought that she had lost him.

Not until now. Losing him to death against the enemy was painful, but at least she knew that he had 'died' doing what was right and just. Knowing that he was alive and well, but working against her and the other members of the Order was excruciatingly painful. In some ways, it would have been better if he were dead; it would make the feeling of betrayal that was sitting in her stomach dissipate, to be replaced only by sorrow. Not that she would ever wish that he was dead; no, as long as he was alive there was still hope of bringing him back, but the tears covering her pillow that night were that of betrayal.

The clock in the hall chimed eleven, twelve, one and two, but sleep never came to Lenalee. Instead she lied there, tears silently flowing down her face as she stared at the ceiling, wondering if Allen was alright and if he was, by any strange possibility, thinking of her as much as she was thinking of him.

Without any warning there was a knock on Lenalee's door. Shooting up out of bed with surprise, she stared for a moment. She knew who she wanted it to be; in her mind she imagined Allen standing on the other side of that wood with a remorseful face, apologizing for leaving her and coming back to the Order to never leave again. Her heart uncontrollably swelled with false hope; it seemed impossible, but stranger thing had happened.

"Lenalee? It's me, Lavi. You're not sleeping, are you?" Instantly all of the hope from Lenalee's heart deflated and left her feeling more alone than she was before. Uncontrollably, she began to sob. The door opened revealing, Lavi, not Allen. It wouldn't have been Allen, but it was so easy to hope and to dream that it was him. "Lenalee?"

Not wanting him to worry, Lenalee tried to choke out words in-between sobs. "I'm- I'm f-f-ine." She paused, her sobs subsiding now. "It was just that I had a- a long day and I couldn't fall asleep."

Though her face was looking at the tear soaked stains on the sheets on the bed she was lying in, she could hear Lavi's footsteps coming closer to her. "Lenalee, where's Allen?" The question took her completely by surprise. She looked up and saw that there was no smile on Lavi's face and no inch of humor to that question. "He's been missing and you were the last person to have seen him. Where is he?"

Allen had told her not to tell anyone where he was; he wanted her to keep it a secret from her comrades and allies. When news of it got out, there would be anarchy; the Order would lose morale and the fight against the Noah would be even more difficult than it already was. If she kept it a secret then she'd be tried for treason and betray her friends. If she told now, at least people would be prepared; the science department could make precautions and find out ways to possibly defeat Allen.

The right thing to do would be to tell Lavi right here and right now that Allen had left them; that he'd gone to the other side and became a Noah.

The thing that Lenalee wanted to do was keep the façade up for a few days; to say that Allen had taken a little vacation and would be back before the week was over.

The problem was, whichever route she took, she'd betray people who she cared deeply about; if she were to stay silent then she'd be betraying all of the friends who had been like family to her since she'd gotten to the Order; her brother, Kanda, Lavi, Miranda, Krory, Reever, Johnny, 65… But if she were to talk then she'd betray the one person whom she cared most about in the world. Allen.

"I don't know where he is." Lying was not Lenalee's greatest skill, and she hadn't had much practice in it either. No eye contact was made with Lavi, there was a shake to her voice and a few more renegade tears fell down from her eyes. Each thing that she did Lavi took note of; this time not for his personal enjoyment, but for the fact that the answer she gave her would change the history of the world. "All I know is that he's left for a little while."

Wanting to scream, to shake Lenalee's shoulders and make her tell him the truth, Lavi spoke through clenched through teeth. "Lenalee, tell me everything that you know. This is bigger than just you and me and Allen." There was so much that Lenalee didn't understand about this situation; if she didn't admit what was happening, there was nothing that could be done.

In all honesty, Lavi's reaction was vaguely frightening. It was almost like he knew things that only she knew, but that was impossible, Lenalee was the only one who knew what fate Allen had been assigned to. "Lavi, I don't know where he is." Her voice rose with the words and more tears fell down her face. "I don't know where Allen is, or what's happened to him."

For a moment there was silence between them. Then Lavi sighed and sadly put a hand on the girl's shoulder. "It's okay Lenalee, I'm sorry." There was a pause, and he looked away from the girl for a moment. "I'm just worried about him, that's all." That was the truth as well. Lavi was worried, terribly worried.

"I'm worried too." As she spoke her voice cracked in an embarrassing fashion and more tears fell. Hesitantly, Lavi put a hand to her face and wiped away a tear. His hand was warm on her face, and it felt very comfortable. Inside Lavi's chest his heart was pounding and he knew that by that one gesture he was breaking everything he had been taught about being a bookman, but he didn't care. Seeing Lenalee cry ripped him up from the inside out.

But as suddenly as he had gotten there, he needed to leave. "I have to go." He said and without waiting for any response from Lenalee, he got up and walked out, almost mechanically. There were no other words of parting and no looks back or spoken hopes that Lenalee's tears would stop. Lenalee could only stare as Lavi left and left her alone once again.

Shutting the door behind him, Lavi took a deep breath of relief. Being in such close proximity to Lenalee alone made being a bookman incredibly difficult.

"How did it go?" The voice was rough and gravely and took Lavi completely by surprise. Shaking all of the thoughts that he had out of his head, he turned to Bookman and began to yell.

"Man, panda, don't scare me like that! Geez. Give a guy a little warning, won't ya?"

Rolling his eyes, Bookman began to walk and Lavi followed. As they walked, Bookman began the long row of questions that he and Lavi would be going through for the rest of the night and well into morning. It was the life of a bookman to be as thorough as possible, even if that meant losing a night of sleep.

"What was her response?" This was the most important question of them all; the question that would decide the fate of the Order and perhaps the world.

There was silence from behind Bookman for a moment, and he could guess what the girl had said even without his junior telling him. "She told me that she only knew that he had gone somewhere for a little bit; she told me that she didn't know where."

Sadly, Bookman shook his head. The pigheadedness of young humans was unbelievable. They think that they're saving themselves and the ones in love, but truly they're only putting the world into danger. Miss Lena's decisions on how she answered that questions would forever haunt her mind, that much Bookman was sure of. For such a kind human to lie to all of her peers must have been a difficult decision.

"Miss Lena has made her decision then, now we-"

Behind him, Lavi stopped walking. Staring at the floor, he spoke the thing that he had been wanting to say since he first witnessed from behind a bookshelf Allen's change into a Noah. "Old man, can't we just tell the Order?"

It was the question that Bookman had dreaded hearing from his protégé. "Lavi, you know that we-"

Lavi's head shot up. "What harm would it do?" Though he was not yelling, there was something incredibly harsh about his voice. "Just give these people level footing on the playing field, give them a chance-"

Bookman turned around abruptly and walked up close to Lavi. "Stupid apprentice. Remember that you are not supposed to care about these people. Apathy is what you need to survive at the moment, and you're not showing much of it."

For once, Lavi refused to back down. "But Bookman, don't you have any feelings for these people at all? If we told them we could save so many lives, and Lenalee wouldn't be tried and-"

"Lavi!" Lavi just stared at Bookman. "Don't let your feelings for that girl cloud your judgment. We've already interfered too much by asking her about it; a leeway that I gave to you of your own asking, don't forget that. We've already gone against what we are supposed to be as bookmen; I cannot allow any further meddling." He paused, taking in every aspect of the dejected face that his apprentice had. At the beginning he had had reservations about taking Lavi on as his protégé, and now the child was doing everything that Bookman had wanted to avoid with him. Hopefully, however, things would change. "Now, come with me, Lavi. We need to discuss what happened and also discuss plans for our change."

Though Bookman kept walking, Lavi stayed stationary. "Change?"

"Yes, Lavi." Bookman said, pausing in his steps, though not looking back. "We're switching sides again."

--

The wreck was horrible, and yet beautiful in a strange way. Smoking piles of rubble sent waves of disgust over Allen, but yet, it enticed him. Destruction was beautiful; taking away these meager things from those lesser beings was wonderful.

Besides, what was done was done and there was absolutely no use crying tears over the dead scientists and finders who were now gone.

On the way into the wreckage he had already seen the lifeless and bloody corpse of Lou Fa, the girl who had once fancied herself in love with him. As he walked to another room was Toma, the finder who had been with him on his first mission. Apparently he had been transferred over to Asia or something; Allen would never know the specifics now. The man was stone dead when he checked for a pulse.

Now he found himself in the office of the head branch, Bak Chan. From his experience with Bak, Allen had been fond of him, but now the head was rather annoying. The problem was that they could not find him anywhere. It was important that the Earl that the branch leader was dead. It would send a message to all exorcists and other important members of the order.

The message was: You are not safe. Not even in your own home will you be safe.

And though the message would be partially sent with the deaths with a grand number of finders and scientists, and with the defeated guardian deity, it wouldn't really send the entire message through unless Bak Chan's head was sent to Vatican on a silver platter. That's why it was so irritating for Road, Tyki and Allen that they could not find the man anywhere. Perhaps he was yellow; perhaps he had not been there in the first place. Either way, they were searching every corner of the vast Asian headquarters in order to find him.

After some akuma came to the group to report the fact that they had not found the branch head yet, Allen spoke for the first time since they had entered the place. "They once told me that this place is so big that a man once got lost in it and died." Road and Tyki both looked at him expectantly, waiting for a punch line of some sort. "It will take more time than that to search the entire place."

Sighing, Road flicked a piece of lint off of her shirt. "Well, if you're such an expert on the place then you should probably be the one looking for the guy; we have no idea what we're doing." She looked at Tyki, who nodded.

"Yes, lad. If you're so knowledgeable then you should have no problem finding this Bak guy." Tyki made a little hand motion that looked like him shooing Allen away. "Hurry up, I'm hungry. I want to get back home as quickly as possible at this point."

Rolling his eyes Allen angrily walked out of the room. The truth was, Allen wanted to be out of there as well. The takeover had been incredibly bloody, and though he only watched and did not partake in any of the actual battle, it still made him squirm a bit to think that these people were once his allies. To see the looks of shock on their faces as the person who had once been the 'Destroyer of Time' to them watched them die with cold and unforgiving eyes was almost too much for him to take. But he did it; he did it for the Lord Millennium.

As Allen walked through the rubble, he half-expected to find Bak's body under some stone pillar or something. With the exception of a few places, the Asian Branch was completely destroyed. The akuma did not hold back when they had attacked; there was blood and fire wherever Allen walked, the bodies of his former comrades scattered everywhere.

Allen stopped for a moment to be sick. As he wiped the remnants of the vomit off of his face, he heard a faint pounding noise.

Feeling weak and curious, he followed it to a wall that was still mostly in tact. He recognized it as some of the housing for the science department members. Mostly the lower staff lived there; they weren't the nicest apartments that the Order had to offer.

The knocking became louder as he neared the wall and there was yelling that accompanied it. "Let me out, Fou, let me out!" It seemed that the rooms had remained in tact despite all of the destruction that the akuma had caused there. The voice, however, was familiar and Allen knew what he had to do. All of his hopes of Bak having had his demise from an akuma were now gone. It would have to be him who did that dirty job.

Slowly he walked from door to door until he found the one that Bak seemed to be behind. The cries became more desperate; apparently Fou had taken some precautions to make sure that Bak had remained safe. That was so like Fou; despite all of the crap that she liked to put Bak through she really did care about him in the end. "I'm sorry Fou." Allen whispered as he touched the door. As soon as it opened, it would be the end. "Bak-san? Is that you, are you in there?"

There was a pause in the knocking from the other side. "Walker, is that you?"

"Yes, it is. Give me a moment, I'll get the door open. The attack is over." The lies slipped so easily from his lips. They would fool Bak; if Lenalee was true to her word then no one at the Order would know that he had joined the other side. To Bak, Allen was still a valuable ally.

There was a sharp intake of breath from the other side of the door. "Tell me Walker, did we have many casualties?" The worry in Bak's voice was so sincere. He truly did care about the people that worked for him. Allen remembered how Bak was when he almost lost Fou. Right now he was probably in hives and felt feverish. The thought almost brought a smile to Allen's face.

"My side didn't." And it was true. The Noahs had lost no one in this battle. Hundreds of finders and scientists gave their lives, but not a single person, not even a single akuma, died in this fight against the Asia branch.

There was a noise on the other side of the door somewhere between a 'whoop' and a snort. It brought a sad smile to Allen's face. At least Bak would spend his last few moments with some sort of happiness left in his life. At least he wouldn't die knowing that his friends had gone before him. "Thank God Walker. I was so worried. When we first found that we were attack Fou stuffed me in here and knocked me out. She thought that I wouldn't make it out alive; oh, how she was wrong! And another defeat against the Noahs how-"

Allen pried open the door. One look at Allen's face and Bak's face fell. "Hello, Bak-san." Allen said, fighting back tears. He would have resolve; he would do what his master told him to do. This man was the enemy; Bak Chan was standing between him and his final destination. People who were adversaries needed to be killed, even if they were kind-hearted people.

"Walker, don't tell me that this is true." Bak's eyes caught sight of some of the rubble from behind Allen. They grew wide with terror. "The Asian branch is…"

"Dead. They're all dead." Allen activated his Innocence and pulled out the sword that had once been his Sword of Exorcism, but was now a weapon for him to use against exorcists and the Order. For some reason the Innocence had not abandoned him and created a Fallen One when he had become a Noah, so that was now his weapon to defeat the people who considered the substance so dear. "And so are-"

Bak's eyes grew wide and frightened. They were the eyes of someone who was betrayed; the eyes of someone who had trusted another and was being stabbed brutally in the back by them. Allen had never before thought that he could inspire a look like that.

And it was in that moment that Allen's resolve broke. His sword was dropped from his hand and it skidded against the stone floor. Falling to his knees, he spoke quietly. "Run Bak. Get to the Order as quickly as you can." For a moment Allen didn't feel like a Noah; for a moment Allen thought that he was once again this man's ally. And as this man's ally, he had only one request. Looking straight into the branch head's betrayed eyes he begged. "Find someone who can kill me; find someone who can kill me quickly."

Passing out, the last thing that Allen saw was Bak grabbing Allen's sword and breaking through the window that would be Bak's escape to the outside. Before the Noah inside of Allen took him completely over once again, the faintest glimpse of a smile appeared on Allen's face.

--

Happily going through a few papers, Komui Lee sat in his office drinking a delicious cup of coffee made by his wonderful little sister. Life couldn't be sweeter. One would think that he would be worried about the impending cloud of doom hanging over the world, but with his friends and family and the lack of activity of the Noah in the past few days, Komui took the moment to just enjoy his life.

That was, until he got a phone call from some finders in Tibet.

As he picked up the phone, he was in a happy sort of mood. "Hello there!" He said into the phone. "What's new?"

"Komui, is that you?" The voice was familiar to him, though Bak's tone of voice was somewhat different. Usually he was much more of a playful sort of a guy; it was out of character for him to sound so serious.

"Yes, Bak-chan. Why do you sound so serious, you sou-"

Komui was cut off. "This is no time to joke around. The Asia branch has been destroyed. It was burned to the ground by level fours and three Noahs."

For a moment Komui didn't believe it; Bak liked practical jokes as much as he did, and though this wasn't a particularly funny one, it couldn't have been true. There was no way that an attack on the Asia branch would have happened so quickly and without any word to headquarters. Now with the Ark that Allen controlled, it would have been easy for them to evacuate as well. Sure, he hadn't seen Allen in a few days, but that shouldn't have meant that the portals just stopped working. "Bak-chan, this isn't funny. Don't joke around like tha-"

"KOMUI, LISTEN TO ME. Everyone at the Asia branch is _dead_. They're all gone Komui; I'm the only survivor and that's just because Walker-"

It was then that Komui realized that Bak was serious. The Asia branch was gone then, a victim to the battle against the Earl. The Order would be filled with the coffins of its members once again. "Walker? You've seen him? He's been missing for a few days now." There was a momentary pause at the other end of the line; the pause of something not being right. "Bak, where's Walker?"

"Komui, he's joined them. Walker has become a Noah, and helped bring about the destruction of the branch. I don't know why, but when he was about to kill me he suddenly let me go. If it weren't for that momentarily lapse-" There was a pause and on the other side of the line there seemed to be something almost like sniffling. When he had a moment to think, Komui noticed that there were tears falling down his face as well. "If it weren't for that I'd be dead too."

Neither of them spoke for a moment. When Komui opened his mouth again, it was not as Komui Lee, it was of a member of the Order; it was as someone who would repay the Millennium Earl for what he had done and for all of the coffins of his comrades that he had filled. "Bak, come here as soon as you can. If Walker has joined them then it's not safe to use the Ark, but for God's sake get here as soon as possible. We'll find out all of the details then. Tell all of the finders in your area to be on high alert. If Walker has truly joined the Noah," Around him the eyes of the science department were all staring, having now heard that their savior, their hero, was now with the enemy. In the corner, he could see the first tears falling down Johnny's face. "Then we must be prepared to kill him."

"Yes." Bak responded, and at the same time they put their phones down.

As he put the phone down, Komui stared at his desk. It was too much information; too much to take in for such a short period of time. They had known that there was something growing inside of Walker, but to think that it was truly Noah DNA was astounding. Between that and the destruction of the stronghold of the Asia branch, Komui wasn't quite sure what to say or what to do. Morale would be gone; the exorcists would be in a frenzy.

Kanda would swear revenge on the boy.

Miranda would break down in tears.

Krory wouldn't speak to anyone for days.

Lavi would pretend that it was no big deal, but he would be killing himself on the inside.

And Lenalee… Komui didn't want to think about how his sister would react to the news, but he knew that Lenalee would be absolutely crushed.

But yet, there were things that they needed to do and prepare for. Walker was strong; he was on the same level as a general. That meant that if he was now on the side of the Noah, he was a formidable opponent and a threat to them all.

"Everyone." He said, his voice with no trace of its usual humor in it. "I have an announcement. The Asia branch has been destroyed." There was a general gasp around the room, surrounded by a heavy silence that filled the air with sorrow. "And Allen Walker has become a Noah."

No one responded and no one spoke. It was like the last hope that they had was now extinguished.

--

_Fin_

_Coming in chapter four: Allen spends some time getting to know his new 'family' after the destruction of the Asia Branch. Someone suspects that Allen let Bak get away, and so Allen is forced to defend himself in front of the Earl._


	4. Home

**Chapter Title:** Home

**Chapter Description:** Word of what Allen did for the head of the Asia Branch gets out amongst the Noahs, his room in the Ark is finished, and Road does some surprising things. Allen's new state is announced to the Order, and Lenalee enjoys her dreams.

**A/N: **So, I'm going to stop doing the teasers on the bottom of each chapter, because I realized when I was writing this chapter, it didn't match up at all with what I had written down there. Oops. Oh well. Not writing them gives me a lot more flexibility when I'm writing as well. Also, about last chapter, I saved Bak Chan because he's pretty much my favorite character in anything and I could not bear to kill him off. That's… about it! Please review! Reviews make me write faster and better. Also, tell me what you're feeling about the fic. Do you like where it's going? Do you hate what I'm doing? What are your predictions? I'm curious to know. Oh! And about the timing of this chapter, the part with the Noahs starts at approximately the same time as the part about the Order. Just thought I'd clear up any confusion there may be about that.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own -Man, because if I did, TODD HABERKORN (my immortal enemy) would not have ruined the dub.

--

"There's nowhere to hide from these bones, from my mind. It's broken inside, I'm a man and a child."

-'The Mirror-Blue Night' from the musical Spring Awakening

--

"Here's to defeating the Asia Branch of the detestable Order!" Each glass was filled to the brim with champagne and the clinks of the glass on glass made a melody of wonderful music. "And here's to our newest member," Cyril continued, raising his glass once again. "Once an exorcist, now a Noah, Allen Walker will be with us until the end of this world!" Glasses clinked once again and laughter filled the room.

They were celebrating the destruction of the Asia Branch. They were celebrating the death of those detestable lesser humans who had the gall to try to stand up against them. They were celebrating the demise of one of the last strongholds that the Order had.

"Hopefully it will be the European Branch next, right Walker?" Fiddler said laughing as he nudged Allen's ribcage a bit too hard. "It should be no problem for you to do that, right?" It seemed like Fiddler had been hitting the alcohol a bit too much. His words slurred and his body gently swayed from side to side as he spoke. "What with having been a part of it for so damn long!" While laughing at his own joke, Fiddler emptied his glass for a fifth time. Immediately a maid came and filled it once again.

From across the table Tyki and Mercym were having a heated conversation about women, while Lulu Bell let Wisely pet her in her cat form. The Earl and Mightra had other business to attend to that evening, so Road was forced to find entertainment from Jasdero and Devit by repeatedly poking them with Lero. Cyril, now done with his toast sat down next to his daughter and conversed politely with Tryde, who seemed like he could care less as to what Cyril was saying.

The entire Noah family, besides whoever the next reincarnation of Wrath would be, was accounted for. It was a happy get together, a family reunion of sorts, but there was an uneasiness in Allen's brain. If one of them found out what he had done then…

"Is there something on your mind, Allen-kun?" From a few seats down, Wisely had let Lulu Bell out of his lap and was now staring at Allen. "Do continue that thought, I am riveted to hear it."

The entire table was now quiet, wondering what was going on between Wisely and Allen. Since he had gotten home from his mission, Allen had been pretty quiet, but everyone thought that it was probably just exhaustion or because he still had a few lingering feelings for his exorcist friends. Though it wasn't exactly a good thing, it was slightly understandable. Most of the Noahs had a few humans with whom they were more fond of than others, and that was fine, just as long as it didn't get in the way of their duties as a Noah.

Laughing, Wisely turned away from Allen. "Don't worry Allen-kun, I won't be searching through your mind often. I just thought that I heard something. Turned out to be nothing, however." For a moment he looked back at Allen, his eyes dead serious. "But Allen, the next time you think those sorts of dirty thoughts, do it when I'm not nearby. My virgin ears don't need to hear those sorts of things."

Around the table all of the Noahs laughed except Allen, who continued to stare at the now howling Wisely. He had let his guard down and he had forgotten that Wisely could hear his thoughts. Wordlessly, Allen stood up and left the table. Behind him he heard the heckles of the other Noahs, telling him not to be embarrassed and to come sit back down. Ignoring all of their voices, Allen left the room and went into the main white city of the Ark.

When he started walking towards the barren room where he was assigned to live, he felt a pull on his sleeve. "Allen, while we were away they finished your room. I can take you there, if you like." Turning around, Allen found Road wearing a white dress that was much more fancy than her usual attire looking a bit shy.

"S-s-sure." Allen stuttered, feeling nervous. For what he had done he would be on edge for a while. Paranoia had set in already, and he just knew that Road already knew and would be taking him to a torture chamber for what he had done.

Smiling, Road grabbed his hand. "You know that Wisely means well, right? He's just the newest around here next to you. Occasionally he doesn't understand how things work around here." She paused, to think of her next words. "I know what you did Allen."

There was no way out. He was as good as dead. For Bak Chan's life he had given up his own. He would never see Lenalee again.

"And I don't specifically mind, neither does Tyki." His heart beat loudly in his chest. "The Order, however, now knows that you're one of us. Your friend made sure of that." Sighing, Road intertwined her fingers with Allen's. "So our secret weapon has been found out. The Earl is sort of miffed about that, but he's not really that mad at you. Believe it or not, we understand. Tyki had the same problem for the longest time. Every once in a while he gets very sentimental about his human friends even now." Allen felt the weight of Road's head against his shoulder. "Don't worry, Allen, you're one of us now and we take care of our own."

In silence the two of them walked for another few minutes before Road had directed him towards a nondescript door. "Is this it?" He asked quietly, still half convinced that he would meet his demise behind this door in a few moments.

"Yes, it is." From her pocket, road produced a key and put it in the door's lock. Just as he remembered with Skin Bolic's room in the original Ark, the door transformed to have an outside pattern on it. "We all pitched in to try to design a room that you'd like Allen. We hope that you like it."

The door was gray, and on the outside of it was a giant red pentacle.

"It matches your face, and it shows your upmost devotion to the Noah at the same time. We thought that it was appropriate." Opening the door, Road stepped inside. "Come in, Allen! Why are you hesitating?" Even with Road's words, Allen still stalled outside of the door. Irritated, Road grabbed his arm and pulled him inside.

It was the sort of place that suited Allen so well, that it was almost unnatural. On the walls were paintings, all similar to the one that he had in his room at the Order. It was, besides the paintings, a plain sort of room with a direct passage to the kitchen attached to it. "It's perfect." Allen couldn't help but to admit.

Smiling, Road grabbed Allen's hand once again and pulled him closer to her. "I knew that you'd like it!" Smiling, she used her vacant hand to grab Allen's face and bring it down to hers. Their lips collided and Allen realized that for the third time in his life, a girl was kissing him. Smiling like an idiot, Road drew back and let go of Allen's hand. "I'll see you later, Allen!" Giggling, she ran out of the room.

Without thinking, Allen's hand drew itself up to his lips. Strange. He didn't feel the same amount of revulsion when Road kissed him as he had the first time she had. Though it was nothing compared to when Lenalee had kissed him, it wasn't a bad feeling…

Confused, Allen walked to his bed and sat on it, switching to a laying position when, after a few minutes, his thoughts did not organize themselves.

He loved Lenalee. That much he knew. Since he had first joined the Order he had loved Lenalee, and he didn't feel like his feelings would change any time soon. When he thought about her his heart beat faster and more than anything in the world he wanted to see her face once again. Even as a Noah, he knew that it was the exorcist girl that he cared most about in the world. The attack on the Asia Branch made him realize that; he would never be able to escape his feelings for his former friends.

Still, Road had been such a help after coming here. Out of all the Noah, it was she and Tyki who he felt the most kinship to. And though he was not yet used to even the thought of himself being a Noah, he found himself actually caring about those two people. In some ways, Road's kiss did not seem out of place. In some others, it seemed all wrong.

These horrible thoughts running through his head, he gently drifted off to sleep, the busy schedule of the day getting to him.

--

There was buzzing of conversation throughout the room. No one knew why the branch head called them there, but they knew that it must have been important. Even exorcists who had been on important missions were called back through the Ark, though they were told to take great precautions while traveling in there for some reason.

Lenalee stood by Lavi, Kanda and an extremely frustrated Link, who had spent the entire morning attempting to find Allen. Having had the day off yesterday he had come back to the branch to find Allen nowhere to be seen. "-irresponsible brat. When I get to him I'll-" He went on and on, complaining about not being able to find Allen, about this meeting being called without Levrier's knowledge and about how overworked and underpaid he was.

The people around him tuned Link out, trying to figure out what the problem was, though Lavi and Lenalee both thought that they had an idea as to what this meeting was called about.

At the front of the room Komui, Bak Chan, Renee Epstein, Levrier, the generals and a few other assorted important Order members, all of whom had a somber look on their face.

It was Komui who spoke first, and there was complete silence from his audience. "Fellow Order members, I bring you somber news." No one spoke. Next to Komui, Bak Chan looked as if he were about to throw up. Remembering how he had a tendency to break out into hives, she wondered where Wong was. Usually he would be standing at Bak's side ready to help him with whatever he needed. Looking around, Lenalee noticed that none of the members from the Asia Branch were present at this meeting aside from Bak. Turning her attention back to Komui, she missed his words and could not hear what he said next due to the uproar around them.

"What, what did he say?" She asked as she grabbed onto Lavi's sleeve.

There was a pained expression on the bookman's face and as he talked he rushed through his words, yelling through the noise that the crowd made. "The Noah attacked the Asia Branch and apparently it's been completely destroyed. The only survivor was Bak-san." Terror filled Lenalee's stomach, and she felt as if she were going to pass out. If it were the Noahs, which meant that there was a possibility that Allen could have been involved.

Though it pained Lenalee to hear about the deaths of her comrades in the East, she couldn't help but to worry about Allen as well. Though they were enemies now, whenever his name was mentioned all she felt was a deep pit of worry in her stomach. If something were to happen to Allen, the hole that Lenalee felt in her heart would just grow deeper and deeper until she didn't think that she could handle it anymore.

From the front, Komui and the others were trying to calm everyone down.

"Please don't worry!" Klaud yelled.

"Stay calm!" Komui pleaded.

"Be quiet!" Levrier screamed, getting the attention of all of the finders, scientists and exorcists in the room.

Silent tears streamed down Bak's face as the commotion happened, and when those around him spoke, he remained silent. For the first time Lenalee realized that if she hurt when just one of her friends went missing, then Bak's pain must have been unmanageable. If he were the only survivor out of all of his subordinates, then the guilt that he must have been experiencing must have been drowning.

Now that there was silence in the room, Komui continued. "I know that this news is shocking and unsettling, but please remain quiet. There are other things that we must discuss with you all, the first being…" Komui's voice trailed off for a moment as a tear rolled from his eye as well. "There has been an addition to the Clan of Noah, and that person is one of the people who took out the Asian Branch."

There were a few murmurs from around Lenalee, all speculations about what was going on. Next to her, Lavi swore. Insides Lenalee's own mind she was screaming, asking God why he had done such a thing to them. The next few words that her brother would say would probably be the most difficult things that her ears would ever hear.

"One of our own, Allen Walker, has joined the Noah, as the 'Fourteenth'."

There was silence for a moment, which gave way to Lenalee's sobs. In the middle of the room she fell to the floor, her cries heard from all around. Everything that she had been holding in since he left fell out all at once. Lavi crouched down next to her and held her in her arms, whispering in her ear, pleading with her to be quiet and to be rational. Burying her face into his shoulder, she tried to quiet her cries, but they just kept coming.

"Lenalee, let Link take you out of here." Lavi said quietly into her ear. From the other side of the room Bookman stared at the two of them with angry and worried eyes. "I'll come to your room and tell you what happened afterwards, right now you should just take it easy."

Unable to speak for herself, Lenalee let herself be put into Link's arms, and before she was able to stop sobbing, she was carried out of the room.

Lavi turned back to Komui and the others, to find that all of the people there were staring at him. Looking around the room, all eyes were on him. Resting his gaze at Bookman for a moment, his mentor shook his head. From up at the front of the room, Komui began to speak once again, and the eyes gradually shifted back towards him.

"Everyone, we need to make plans. We've lost another one of our exorcists at an incredibly inopportune time." Pausing, Komui looked down at the ground. "Chances are Walker has told the Earl of our whereabouts and about many of the secrets of the Order." The first thought that went through Lavi's head was that Allen wouldn't do that; Allen was too kind of a person. "Without the knowledge that people who are in the Order have, the Noahs would not have been able to breach the security measures taken by the Asia Branch. In short, we know that Walker has leaked intelligence to the other side."

From the audience, someone shouted. "But what about the Ark, can we control it without Walker?"

Renee took on this question. "It seems as if the Ark is still functioning at the moment with the same portal locations. We cannot, however, determine how long it will remain that way. In short, we'll have all of you who came from different parts of the world return there using the Ark, but after that, for our own safety, we'll discontinue the use of it."

Some obnoxious member of the North American branch yelled a different question. "How is it that everyone survived the attack but you, Mr. Chan?"

It was the question that had been looming over everyone's heads, but no one dared to ask. All eyes went to Bak, whose face drained of all color. "It was Walker." He said quietly, tears still wet on his face.

"What?" The man asked.

A fierce look came into Bak's eyes. "It was Walker who saved me." Silence met him, forcing him to explain to the crowd how the person who they were just lead to believe betrayed him, saved Bak's life. "Fou, the guardian deity, knocked me out and hid me to try to save me." At mention of the deity that was now gone, Bak had to wipe the tears off of his face. "It was Walker who found me when I woke up again. He was going to kill me; apparently it was his job to do so, but instead he told me to run, and…" Trailing off, Bak seemed to stare off into nowhere. "He told me to find someone who could kill him, as well."

Not a person spoke. Even Levrier seemed more silent than he was usually willing to be. There was something not right about this situation; a Noah showing mercy to someone was not what they were supposed to do, especially a Noah who had once been an exorcist. Though there may not be any wavering confusion in the heart of a Noah, in the heart of a human Order member, the choice between killing Allen or sparing him now would be difficult.

"Everyone, we'll have more information as soon as we can. Until then, get through the Ark quickly and safely." Komui said as people began to shift around nervously. "Each person will receive a packet with more details of what happened. We'll be putting more security measures on the Order's branches as soon as we can, and we'll also try to find out what Walker has told the Noahs. Until then, be safe and may God be with you."

There was a tug at Lavi's sleeve, and he looked down to see an angered looking Bookman next to him. "We need to talk later. Tonight, meet me at the usual time and place. We need to make our contingency plans." A grimace on his face, Lavi nodded, and Bookman disappeared.

Sighing, Lavi waited to get through the congested passageways out of the room, and found himself walking, without thinking, towards Lenalee's room. Irritated with himself, he frowned. If he were smart, he would be returning to his own room to reflect on and record what had happened that evening. Instead, however, he was burying himself into the one hole that a bookman should not.

If this kept up, he would no longer be an impartial bystander. No, he had already begun to take sides; Lenalee was too important to him to not do so.

--

Surprisingly, Link had left her after he had carried her up to her room. Apparently he really wanted to hear what was going on with Allen, because he knew that he, as well as Lenalee, would be prime suspects and witnesses in Walker's betrayal. Lenalee had not thought about it in that way.

Then again, she didn't much care; the fact was that he was gone, and no matter how many trials they had and how much investigating they did, none of that would bring him back to the Order.

As she thought of Allen, she closed her eyes, wishing that she could see him one more time.

--

When she opened her eyes again she was in a surreal sort of place that she had been in before, but not for a very long time. There were the ruins of the Order there, and as always, it was incredibly quiet. The black moon radiated in the blood red sky and she felt such loneliness that it was suffocating.

Her hair was long once again, like it had been before she had battled the level three and she sat alone on top of the highest part of the ruins. With the vague wisps of the last bits of hope that she had running through her chest she looked around and searched the surrounding area, trying to see if there was someone else there with her time.

A chilling wind blew and she shivered a bit, her hair flying around her face. She had almost forgotten how it was like to have hair so long; it seemed like it had been forever since she had been able to put her hair up in the pigtails that she had once been so fond of. Pulling her arms around her torso, she tried to stay warm.

"Are you cold?" The voice that came from behind was familiar, and immediately tears came to her eyes. Not wanting to see who it was and be disappointed, she said nothing and kept her eyes to the front. Never before had she come to this terrible dream world and found someone there with her. "Here, I'll keep you warm." Two arms wrapped themselves around Lenalee. "I'm so happy, Lenalee, that you're here with me. I feel so alone without you; I'm glad that I'm able to see you once again in my dreams."

"Why are you here?" She asked. "Each time that you've been here you've been dead."

The voice laughed. "It's strange; when I thought that I had died this was the dream that I was having. You were here alone and I had tried to rescue you, but something got in the way. It was the Fourteenth, I think." Nodding, though she was still confused, she settled her head against his shoulders. Like always he was so much stronger than he appeared to be to other people. "But now I'm here with you, so neither of us will be lonely anymore."

"Does that mean that you're coming back now?" There was silence from behind her. The question had been stupid, she knew that there was no way that he'd return to the Order, to her, though she could dream. "You saved Bak, though."

His head pressed into her shoulder for a moment. "That I did, Lenalee. I couldn't bring myself to do it. To kill him." Pausing, his arms tightened around her a little more. "My family did not get angry at me for it, but I don't think that if I were to do something like that again I would be let off the hook quite so easily."

It was inevitable, by this point. There was no way that she could control herself any longer, even if she did think that what she saw would only cause her pain and disappointment. Looking over her shoulder, the tears that had welled up in her eyes fell down her face. Smiling at her with his white hair and grey skin was Allen Walker.

Her Allen, with her once again. The dream that had once been a nightmare was now the sweetest thing that she could possibly imagine.

--

_End of Chapter Four_


	5. Worldy

**Chapter Title:** Worldly

**Chapter Description:** A dream ends and a nightmare begins. When the bookmen leave the Order, Allen gets news about his beloved that he doesn't want to hear.

**A/N: **This chapter… was a witch to write. Seriously. This fic has been pretty good so far, and been coming on time each week, yeah? (Well, at least compared to the other stuff that I have on the site…) And I've been pretty diligent about getting it done on time but… MAN. I could not write this week at all (writer's block, not lack of time), which is why this is a lot worse than usual. Plus, fanfic was being all weird about this document. I could have been able to post this two days earlier, but it was acting all wonky... I apologize and maybe for my mental sanity, I may take the next week off. The good news is, I finally know where the plot is going! That's good, right? Ahaha. Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing, you all make me smile. And to all of you people who favorite or alert this story without reviewing… shame on you there. SHAME. But have fun reading this, though it's shorter and later than usual. I'll try to get over my writer's block as soon as possible

**Disclaimer: **I do not own -Man, because if I did, Timothy would appear more. I like that kid's spunk.

--

"I had a dream that you were with me, and it wasn't my fault."

-'My Never' by Blue October

--

"How is it that you're even here right now?" Lenalee asked. "Is this real?" The way that his breath felt warm and prickled on the back of her neck and the way that while she leaned against his chest she could hear his heartbeat felt real enough. If it weren't real, then how could she hear the faint buzz of the Innocence keeping his heart from falling apart or the moistness of each sweet breath of his?

For a moment Allen buried his head into her hair, just enjoying the feeling of being with Lenalee once again. It had not occurred to him how lonely he was amongst the Noah. Yes, they were cordial, but even Road didn't know him the way that Lenalee and the other exorcists did. "I don't know. I'm asleep right now; I really am… Or at least I should be." Allen had the face that he always had on when he was confused. It was nice to see that just because he was now a Noah, not everything about him was different. "I do remember going to bed."

It was apparent to Lenalee that parts of Allen had changed, besides the skin. More assertive than before, he was unafraid to hold her close to him, and while he had once been so polite in speech and manners, all formalities of his speech were gone. It had been less than a week since the two of them had parted, but Allen seemed to have matured a lifetime.

"So did I." For a moment the two of them were silent, but the subject that had been on the top of Lenalee's tongue the entire time came tumbling out. "Allen, the Order is probably going to try to kill you first. With the knowledge you have, you're a bigger threat than even the Earl right now." Pausing, she put her hand in his. "I'll probably have to try to kill you the next time we see each other." A single tear fell down her cheek. A gray hand reached up and wiped it off, lingering on her skin for just a moment.

Sighing, Allen removed his hand and placed it on hers. Gradually, Allen guided her hand up to his cheek and placed it there, cherishing the warmth. "And I'll have to try to kill you too, along with everyone else in the Order because we're enemies, and that's what we have to do." As he spoke his grasp on her hand grew tighter, more pained and anguished. He didn't want her to see how insecure and how frightened he was of what was going to happen to all of them, but for a moment his vulnerability shined through his mask.

Before being able to protest, there was a voice from some place seemingly above them. "Lenalee! Lenalee!" His attention shot up, and Allen looked apprehensive. His grip tightened exponentially on her hands and she turned her face over to see the same look that Allen had every time that he was desperate about something.

Placing his hands on both of her cheeks he frantically said, "Goodbye Lenalee, I love yo-"

"LENALEE!" Violently being shaken awake by Lavi, Lenalee was pulled out of her dream before she could even hear Allen's last word. A tear fell down one of her cheeks; who knew when she'd be able to hear him say that again? Part of her wanted to curse Lavi for waking her up to soon. There was so much that she had wanted to tell Allen, even if it was just a dream and not the real person. "Thank goodness, are you alright?"

On one side of her was Lavi, on the other was Link, and both of them looked somewhat worried for some reason. "I'm fine. What happened downstairs?" Her voice was breathless and there was a thin layer of sweat on her skin. As she was sleeping Link and Lavi could hear her mumbling, a few times she said Allen's name. The two boys looked at each other for a moment.

It was Lavi who spoke the terrible news. "Lenalee, we've been ordered to kill Allen if we ever come into contact with him, no exceptions. Now he's our number one priority now, and anyone seen making contact with him in any fashion will be punished severely."

"Oh." Was all that Lenalee could say. She knew that she should speak out against Allen. Her brain cried out for her to angrily announce to everyone how traitors deserved to die and that she would be more than willing to be the one to take Allen's life, but her tongue failed her. Instead she said nothing and did nothing but stare vacantly towards Lavi.

There was a look in Lavi's eyes, something in-between pity and regret. It was a sort of look that Lenalee could relate to in the past couple of days. But why it was directed at her, she wasn't sure. "Why are you staring at me like that?" She whispered to the two boys. A pit of fear formed in her stomach. It wasn't like Lavi to be so quiet.

His voice came out no louder than her own had been a few moments before. "Lenalee, Inspector Levrier wants to see you in the morning." As Lenalee's eyes widened in horror, Lavi looked away, his voice filled with anguish. "You're being tried for treason against the church for helping a Noah."

--

It was incredibly strange to be traveling without his hammer. Not since it was destroyed in the Ark had Lavi gone anywhere without it. In a way he felt naked without it hanging on his leg, naked and vulnerable. That Innocence was really his lifeline; it could withstand attacks from akuma and make travel a hell of a lot easier. Without it he felt weak.

"Junior, keep up. If you lag behind then I may just leave you." Walking at a much quicker pace than usual, Bookman hurried along a path unknown to Lavi. Their destination had not been told to the junior bookman, but he could guess where they were heading.

"Aye, gramps, what's the rush?" He said as he caught up to the older man. "I think that it will still be there even if we take this at a leisurely pace."

Without any warning, Lavi was unceremoniously hit on the back of the head. "Stupid junior." Bookman hissed as he took his hand back. "If we don't find it quickly then there's no saying that it won't move again." He said as Bookman quickened his pace. It was sunrise and it felt like the brightness was burning Lavi's eyes.

Knowing that it was useless to ask what Bookman was talking about (each time that he had tried, he had gotten various sorts of bruises), Lavi continued along, trotting along behind Bookman, not knowing where they were going.

"What's this I see? Not one, but two exorcists without their Innocence." Laughing, one of the Noahs seemed to appear in front of them from nowhere. "What should we do with them? Rip them limb from limb ourselves or let the Earl have some fun?" The one who spoke Lavi remembered as being named Cyril. The white haired one next to him, however, Lavi had not yet seen.

The white haired one and Lavi locked eyes for a moment. "Cyril, they're not here to fight." A smile grew on his face and Lavi couldn't help but to think that it was rather sinister looking. "They're not exorcists, they're bookmen."

The other one looked at him with a funny face. "But Wisely, they're exorcists! I've seen them with the others multip-"

"We are bookmen, we go where the trend of current events leads us," Lavi was waiting for the repercussions that would happen from interrupting the Noah, but strangely, they listened to the old man. "Which is why we are here. The exorcists are now on the losing side of this war, and in order to document things we must change alliances." For a moment he paused with something like hesitation and fear in his demeanor. Apparently Wisely picked up on this.

Wisely grinned, loving the vulnerability that the bookman showed for the first time. "So you've come to us, because we're going to be the ones winning this war?" Bookman nodded. For a moment Cyril and Wisely made eye contact with one another, as if deciding something between the two of them without speaking.

"Cyril, I'll let you handle these two." Was the last thing that Lavi heard before Lavi and Bookman's bodies began to move without their consent, and as they, like zombies, began to stumble away, they both blacked out.

--

In all honesty, Allen really liked the insides of the Ark. It was so white and pure; it was a place that always seemed to be summer. Light from the artificial sun made the white buildings sparkle and glitter like a city of jewels. Lost in thought, Allen could spend hours just wandering around the beautiful city.

From behind him Allen could smell smoke. "What is it, Tyki?" He asked annoyed. This was his day off. Since he and the others had done so well annihilating the Asia Branch, today was supposed to be a day where Allen could just relax and adjust to being a Noah. Though it was increasingly difficult to set his mind on killing things when dreams of Lenalee had kept him so…

"There's some news from the Earl, lad." Taking a long drag on his cigarette, Tyki smiled. "Something that I thought that you'd be somewhat interested in." Allen turned around to face the grinning Noah, and said nothing. "A few of your friends are coming to stay, lad."

Allen's determined looking face turned confused. "What do you mean by that?" He asked. "I thought that all of the Noah had awakened. Why would more come?"

In response Tyki laughed. "Of course they're all here. That's not what I'm talking about."

Irritated, Allen narrowed his eyes. He wasn't in the mood to play Tyki's games. "Then what _are_ you talking about, Tyki?"

A cruel and torturous smile formed on Tyki's face as he smoked a bit more. Watching Allen get worked up over such small things was getting increasingly more fun for Tyki each day; it was nice for him to have a new toy. "Two of your exorcist friends, have ceased to be exorcists."

The words made the color drain from Allen's face. Mouth agape, Allen was prepared to ask whom, but Tyki just laughed. "You should see that look!" He said as he cackled away. After regaining a bit of control, though still chuckling, Tyki continued to address Allen. "I don't mean that they're _dead_, lad. I said that they quit being exorcists." It was hard for Allen to hide his sigh of relief. "The bookmen have joined us; they've given up their Innocence and will be documenting the story from our side until it's over."

The surprise was almost too much to take. "You mean-?" The words came out too fast and too excitedly. Internally swearing, Allen tried to make himself look more apathetic. "You mean Lavi and Bookman have joined us?"

Around Tyki a swirl of smoke began to form. Swirling to and fro it formed small patterns and shapes that disappeared in a matter of moments. There was something sad and beautiful about the impermanence of it. "Yes, lad, that's right." There was no smile in Tyki's voice anymore. As he turned to walk away he added, "Maybe it'd be a good idea for you to stay away from them. They may cause you a bit of trouble."

Tyki walked away, the cloud of smoke following him.

Allen didn't know what to do. The bookmen had no contract with the Order; it was their choice to do as they pleased. The only reason that the two of them joined the Order in the first place was because they thought that they should document from the side that was more convenient. Apparently, convenience meant the side that was winning.

Were the Noahs winning now? It was a strange thought to have. For so long Allen was so sure that the Order would triumph in the battle between black and white that he had never even considered the possibility of the Noahs having a chance at victory even though he had become one of them. But if Lavi and Bookman were changing sides, then it was quite possible that he was now on the winning side of this war.

His initial gut reaction was to immediately go find Lavi and Bookman. To apologize for what he did to the Asia Branch and try to get them to tell him any news of Lenalee that they knew. Allen's second thought, however, was that he should stay put. To heed Tyki's warning and to stay away from them because they would just make old memories and emotions that he was trying to suffocate resurface and make his loyalty to the Clan of Noah waver even more than it already was.

In an instant, Allen's decision was made for him. "You seem contemplative, Allen, that's sort of new, isn't it? Did it come with your new skin or something?" Allen turned around to see Lavi behind him, his eye narrowed and angry.

Lavi's words made Allen angry. "You betrayed the Order just like me, Lavi." With that remark Lavi's eye widened for a moment before reverting back to its glare. "Don't try to deny that fact and don't try to act as if you're better than me, human." The language tasted foreign on his lips, though two days ago looking down upon mortals seemed natural. Inside of Allen anger and fear stirred together making him feel like vomiting. Part of him had hoped that he would never have to see his friends again; that he would never have to face them as the enemy. This was not the scenario that he had hoped for.

"Don't compare our situations, Allen. It's not like I could choos-"

"It's not like I could choose either, Lavi!" Allen yelled, and Lavi looked slightly taken aback. "You can choose not to be a bookman, if you don't want to, but me…" He trailed off and staggered a few steps backward before speaking once again. "I couldn't choose this. It just happened."

For a moment Lavi felt some sympathy towards the traitor, but just for a moment. "Sure, Allen, and you couldn't just walk away from here and decide to live a normal life?" Momentarily he paused. "Even if you didn't want to be an exorcist anymore, anything would have been better than becoming a Noah."

Terrifying thoughts filled Allen's mind; Lavi didn't know what it truly meant to be a Noah. There was no escape. This love for his family and for the Earl was not his own. It had been thrust upon him and he was forced to accept it. If he were to go against the Earl it would have been so painful that it would be like going through the worst kinds of torture. "What about you, bookman?" He managed to say. "What about the fact that you're supposed to have no worldly connections? You seem to have become pretty attached to the Order as of late!"

It was a low blow, and Allen knew that. Still, it was the only thing that he could use in this battle of verbatim. There was silence between the two of them for what seemed like forever, and when Lavi spoke, his voice came out as almost a growl. "It's not the Order that I care about. It's someone there that is most dear to me."

"What? Who?" Allen asked. There had always been a rumor that Kanda had been harboring some feelings towards the red head, but Allen would have never thought that to be reciprocated. In fact, Allen would have thought that Lavi would have had better taste than that, if men were what he was interested in…

Lavi turned his back to Allen for a moment. "Allen, this afternoon Lenalee is being tried for treason in front of the Vatican's court. If she's found guilty they'll probably put her under lock and key and only let her out when she needs to fight, or even worse, they'll kill her." Words failed Allen; he hadn't thought that this outcome would come so quickly. "Bookman wanted to leave before we could help her." He turned back to Allen, a whole new level of determination in his eyes. "She's being tried for helping you Allen, for keeping your identity a secret." The words coming from Lavi's mouth stung. The worst part, however, was that they were true. If something happened to her, it would be his fault. "Allen, go save her. You're the only one that can."

For a moment Allen stood there speechless, not sure what to do. Saving an exorcist was not exactly a Noah's job… But if…

With a new sort of mission to his step, he began to run. As he ran he yelled back to Lavi, behind him. "Don't worry Lavi! I'll save her! Just wait!"

Knowing that the one thing that he needed done but could not do himself would be in good hands, Lavi slumped down, a smile on his face.

--

_End of Chapter Five_


	6. Action

**Chapter Title:** Action

**Chapter Description:** The Noahs agree to a plan that could put the future of the Order in jeopardy, but may be the key to saving Lenalee's life.

**A/N: **Yep, this was a week late, as predicted. Oh well. Ya'll can deal with it. Beans does have a life, you know. XD Well, sort of. Anyways, the manga 'Fairy Tail' is flipping _awesome_. I am completely obsessed right now… Well, it's my number two fandom after -Man. But when I'm done with this beast I'm definitely going to be spending some word documents on FT. So… That's my manga recommendation of the week. Now, enjoy this chapter and please review. When Beans gets reviews she doesn't murder the puppies that she has in her backyard. Yes folks, with every review you give there is one less dead puppy in the world. ^.^ Oh, and a note: Don't try to write serious stuff while listening to the Princess and the Frog soundtrack… AND HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE! Hope that that person that you have your eye on makes a move. ;)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own DGM, because if I did Kanda wouldn't be having character building right now, and would instead, be dead.

--

"And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us, not even once. You are my sweetest downfall, I loved you first."

-'Samson' by Regina Spektor

--

"You make a convincing argument, Fourteenth." The Earl said with excitement as he stroked his chin. "But why so soon? Not that I'm complaining about your enthusiasm, but it seems just a bit rushed to be attacking the main branch of the Order."

Trying as best he could to contain the excitement flowing through his veins, Allen spoke. "That's exactly why we need to attack now; they won't be expecting it. They think that they know our patterns, but they don't. Their defenses will be less than usual because they know that I know everything that they've done for protection and will be trying to change their security measures. If we just surprise them-"

There was a hand on Allen's shoulder. "Why is this so sudden, Allen?" Road asked, a skeptical look matching her sad tone of voice. "We just destroyed the Asian Branch, isn't that enough for right now?" It seemed almost like Road could read through the lines that he had planned out and see through the barriers that he had tried to place in his thoughts.

A cloud of smoke filled the room, followed by a laugh. "Well, I think that the lad's got a swell idea there. Taking down the Black Order once and for all seems like a good plan, besides, I didn't have any plans for the weekend, did any of you?" One by one the Noahs at their usual dinner table shook their heads.

"Well, shall we take a vote?" The Earl said happily, seeming to not care that what happened here would decide the fate of the world. Not that he ever really worried about that; he had confidence that the Noahs would be the winning side of this war for the world. Allen had confidence in that fact as well. "All for the destruction of the Black Order, please raise your hand now."

Tryde, Tyki, Mercym, Lulu Bell and Allen raised their hands.

"Very good, very good, and all who are against this attack?"

Cyril, Road, Wisely, Fiddler and Mightra raised theirs.

Everyone paused for a moment and stared at the twins who were apparently too stupid to form an opinion about this. Their heads were huddled together as they debated the pros and cons of the situations. Each person tried as hard as they could to hear what the two of them were whispering to each other, but the two of them spoke very quietly.

Nodding to each other, they came out of their huddle and a thick silence filled the room. Allen twitched in his seat, waiting for the verdict. If he could just get them to agree he could go and save Lenalee from the tri-

From across the table Wisely's eyes locked with Allen's. The mind reader raised one of his eyebrows. It was over, Allen had been caught. In a moment Wisely would turn him into the Earl and say how he was doing this just for the sake of an exorcist, but what Wisely didn't know and what Wisely needed to listen to was the fact that Lenalee was a candidate for the Heart Innocence and in exchange for her life he would single-handedly destroy the girl's Innocence and-

Wisely began to laugh. "Before the nitwits over there make their decision, I think I'd like to change mine." As he spoke he looked at Allen, and not at the Earl. "The Fourteenth has made an interesting argument in favor of attacking the Order, and I'd like to see how he plans to handle his attack. I vote in favor of attacking the Black Order today."

From her seat next to Allen, Road stood up. "What, why?"

The white-haired Noah did nothing but smile.

It was down to the Noahs of bonds to make their decisions. These two half-wits would change the entire outcome of the Earth's history. If they both voted no, then the Order would remain and Lenalee would be tried. If one of them voted yes, however, today was the day that the Black Order would fall.

The two of them looked at each other again, nodded and then smiled.

Confidently, Jasdero and Devit spoke at the same time. "Yes." "No."

Everyone stared. It seemed like, for the first time, the two of them did not agree on something. This occasion was something to put in the history books.

Startled, the two of them looked at each other, and spoke at the same time again. "No." "Yes." Tyki rolled his eyes; now they were just being ridiculous.

The usually impatient Earl chuckled for a moment. "If the two of you would please decide on your answer, it would be appreciated. If we are going to do this today as the Fourteenth would like us to, it would be nice to know sooner rather than later."

With an irritated gleam in his eye, Devit took out his gun and pointed it at Jasdero. Following suit, Jasdero took out his golden shotgun and pointed it at Devit. In a single moment, their fingers pushed the triggers, and the two of them merged into Jasdevi. Most of the Noahs rolled their eyes, irritated by the waste of time by the androgynous hybrid. Allen's leg shook with anticipation; this had to work.

After a moment of silence and deliberation from Jasdevi, he smiled. "We're voting yes. Let's go destroy the Order!"

A broad grin grew on Allen's face. It was working; his plan was working.

A few people around the table cheered. Road sulked and Cyril put a supportive hand on her shoulder. Wisely beamed.

"Very well then," the Earl said happily. "Today at three o'clock we will attack the Black Order!"

--

More and more Lenalee felt claustrophobic and scared. Her arms were bound, and CROW had cast a spell making it so she could not activate her Innocence, though, she knew that if she did she would just be fighting against God and become a Fallen One.

Nevertheless, fear began to fill Lenalee's heart as she looked at the cold, dark faces of the Vatican higher-ups who thought that she was scum because she helped the man that she loved. Smiling smugly from the corner of the long table that she was facing was Levrier, a clipboard in his hands listing off the different offenses that Lenalee had committed and telling people about the record of rebellion that she had as a child in the Order.

Not once did he mention the countless times that she had risked her life for their sake. Never did he state that the reason for her bad behavior as a child was because she missed her brother, her only surviving family, so much that she could barely breathe. Not a syllable was uttered about the fact that the person that she didn't tattle on had saved the Order more times than she could count.

No, none of that mattered to these destructive people. All they wanted was her blood spilled across the floor.

"After looking to all of these cases, and the testimonies of witnesses to all of these events, the Vatican has found Miss Lee to be guilty of all charges…"

Tuning out the world and all of its cruelties, Lenalee allowed herself to think, for just a moment, of how Allen was doing. She hoped dearly that he was happy, because if she were going to die for the sake of his smile, death would not be that bad.

--

The Level Threes went in first, spreading destruction with each of their movements. Any barrier that the Order had put up could not control so many high level akuma at the same time, and it soon fell.

Next came the Level Fours with the members of the Clan of Noah who were most eager to lend a hand in the destruction of the place. Leading the pack was Allen, closely followed by Tyki, Wisely and Lulu Bell. Together they walked into the Order with almost nothing to stop them; those who had survived the Level Three's attacks were hiding and those who were able to fight were doing so.

"Everyone, spread out and take out as many as you can." Allen ordered to the other Noahs, who nodded and began to walk away.

Before Allen could take a step, there was a hand on his shoulder and a mouth in his ear. "Go ahead," Wisely whispered. "I'll cover if you if you need it." Nodding curtly to his brother, he took a few steps forward, before breaking into a run.

If the information that Lavi had given him was correct, Lenalee's interrogation and trial should have been going on as they spoke. Each moment moved like an eternity as he ran; he knew that the person who he cared most for in the world could be being tortured right now, or be on the brink of death. He knew that each moment that he spent wondering and not trying to run faster than his legs should go was another moment that she was in danger.

He needed to find her, take her Innocence and free her of the demon of the Black Order. Once that was done, she could be free from the organization that took everything for her and she could choose what path that she wanted to take by herself.

The thought that perhaps that path could the path of the Noah's had crossed Allen's mind as well.

"Allen…-kun?" A nervous voice said to the side of him. It was familiar to him; Allen stopped in his tracks and looked to the left of him.

Standing there quivering in the darkness of the dimly lit hallway that they were both in was Miranda Lotto. The Miranda that Allen had met on one of his first missions and had considered to be a good friend and a wonderful person.

The Innocence located on her wrist made him cringe. Even being so close to any Innocence but his own brought a pang of pain in his chest; Tyki had told him before he had come to the Order that being around Innocence made a Noah feel great pain, but Allen hadn't thought that it would be this bad. The others had assured him that it got better with time, and it was like being in the monkey house in the zoo. When you get there it smells awful, but after ten minutes you got used to it. Allen dearly hoped that was the case, because the pain was already almost crippling.

"Good evening, Miranda." He said, trying to maintain his calm. It was like the Innocence was pulsating, beckoning, asking him to destroy it. The pain would leave if the Innocence were gone… "It's been a few days, hasn't it?" Remembering that he didn't have the time to waste on this, he asked "Are you alone?" hoping that the answer was yes. If she were alone then he could just destroy her Innocence and be done with it.

The woman looked frightened as she held her arms to her chest. "Allen-kun, why are you here?" Her voice shook, and Allen almost felt sorry for the pitiful woman. "Have you come to join us once again, Allen?" At such an absurd suggestion, Allen could only laugh.

Feeling the effects of the Innocence clouding his judgment, Allen took a step towards Miranda who shivered with fear. With his gray skin and in the dark lighting, Allen looked like a demon from the darkest depths of hell. Each movement he made and each syllable that he uttered made Miranda more and more fearful. For the first time in her life she had felt that she had friends; it was heart breaking to think that it would be one of her first that would be her demise.  
"You know, Miranda, that Innocence feels like it's burning me from the inside out." Pausing in his speech, he reached a hand out to her, touching her cheek gently. "Its mere existence in the world is not something that I can stand."

Underneath his touch, Miranda froze, to paralyzed with fear to move an inch of her body. "Allen-kun, why are you-"

His fingers closed together, pinching her cheek. A few tears sprung to her eyes, not from pain, but from the sting of betrayal. Allen noticed the tears and on the inside of his mind he cringed. This was wrong; Miranda had been one of his comrades and someone who he had cared deeply for, he should not be trying to kill her. But the pain of the Innocence that she had was too great to be ignored. It had to be destroyed; morals and friendship no longer mattered.

"I'm sorry Miranda but I think that I must-" He began to say but was interrupted by a feeble voice.

"Time Record, activ-" She stuttered, knowing that it was no use. Despite all of her training, Miranda remained a purely defensive exorcist. It was difficult for her to defeat a single Level One akuma, let alone a Noah.

"No, no Miranda. We can't have that." With the hand that was on her face, he slapped her hard, a red splotch immediately forming where his hand had made contact. The tears began to roll freely from her eyes as she internally began to pray. This was not the Allen that she knew; this was a sadistic creature that knew nothing of the values that he had once preached so heavily. "Give me your Innocence and I may spare your life." In his heart, Allen was pleading. If she would just give him the Innocence than he could destroy it and walk away and he wouldn't have to put her in anymore pain. But if she didn't, he wouldn't hesitate. With something as important as Lenalee's life on the line, he wouldn't hesitate to do anything that would save him time.

With a defiant look in her eyes, Miranda rubbed her cheek. "No Allen, you'll never get this Innocence while I'm alive." Tears streamed down her face as she spoke, and a crack in her voice conveyed her fear. Despite all that, however, Miranda would die a hero's death. If the Order survived the night, then they would be sure to honor her the same as every other brave exorcist that they had lost in the line of duty. "If you want my Innocence, then you'll have to kill me."

Sighing, Allen activated his own Innocence silently. The silver mask of the Crown Clown appeared with the white cape that accompanied it. His hand turned into a blue claw and his hair stuck up on edge. Nothing about his appearance had changed since he was an exorcist besides the gray skin. For Miranda, it was truly like she was going to be killed by her own comrade.

"Well then," Allen said melodramatically. "I think that death can be arranged for you." Miranda's heroic death would be a tragedy. When Lenalee found out about it, she would undoubtedly cry. Maybe she would hate him, but that sort of hate could be rectified. The hatred that Allen felt for that Innocence, however, could not be, and if it was not destroyed now, he felt as if he would lose his mind entirely. Without stopping to think any longer, Allen took his sword out of his arm socket and lunged at the woman, blood on his mind.

--

The Order had not been expecting this attack. Since the Asia Branch had been completely annihilated, the Order had thought that the Noah's blood thirst had been quenched for the moment, at least.

The Order had been so very wrong.

Walking through the hallways of the Order, Link could already see the bodies of the casualties of the Noah, and the dust that used to be the people that the Level Three akuma had destroyed. It was his job to now try to find all of the exorcists and get them together; with the exception of Lenalee Lee, who was under the protection of CROW, the exorcists needed their full force to fight the members of the Noah Clan that had somehow gotten into the Order's defenses.

As he walked he heard a noise from a nearby hallway; two people were talking, and one of them was rather frightened. Before he could think, his feet took of running. There had been enough casualties that day, the last thing that they needed were more. With his abilities as a former member of CROW, Link thought that he could help with the situation, whatever it may be.

When he reached the hallway and found Allen Walker brutally attacking Miranda Lotto, he was just a bit surprised.

With one sweep of the sword that Allen used to use to exorcise demons, Miranda was vomiting blood, and with one more, her breath stopped. Panting, Allen grabbed the Time Record from her wrist and cracked the material it was made of, until it was just a shining piece of raw Innocence.

"You know, this is my first time doing this." For a moment Link stopped breathing, he hadn't realized that Allen knew that he was there. "And I was hoping that I would never have to be in this situation." His hand clenched around the shining piece that was the last hope of the world. "But since you people had to put her life in danger, I'm left with no other choice." Eyes filled with sadness and rage reached Link's as Allen's fist tightened and the Innocence cracked within it.

Link cringed as another piece of what could be the salvation of the world crumbled and its dust gently fly away in a sparkling cascade.

With his sword pointed at Link, Allen walked forward. His clothing was coated in Miranda's thick, red blood. Miranda was first exorcist casualty of the night, but Link had the feeling that she would not be the last.

"Link," If Link wasn't mistaken, there was a tear falling from Allen's eye, leaving a trail of cleanness on Allen's dirty gray face. "Take me to where Lenalee is immediately. Don't pull any funny business, because I'm not afraid to kill you. Take me to where she is or I'll kill every last person in this place and I'll make you watch me do it." More tears streamed from Allen's eyes, cleaning the splattered blood on his face off.

Unwilling to say yes and give the Noah what he wanted, but not wanting to have the blood of his comrades on his hands because of this sociopath, Link did nothing for a moment. But the desperation in Allen's eyes reached Link, and feeling that there was nothing that he could do, he relented. "Fine." He said primly, as if he were in control. "I'll take you to her, but you may not like what you see."

Allen spoke through clenched teeth. "If anything has happened to her, not a single person is coming from the Order alive again."

Link believed Walker's words; he was speaking the truth.

--

_Fin_


	7. Sanity

**Chapter Title:** Sanity

**Chapter Description:** As the battle with the Noah continues, the exorcists continue fighting as hard as they can in what seems like a losing battle. Those who cannot help, pray, those who are winning laugh and smile and while the losing side fight for their lives a surprising show down occurs.

**A/N: **Chapter seven, AKA, the chapter in which everyone cameos. I wanted this one to be a little less angst filled but… Well. Next chapter will have a little less angst. I promise. Maybe Link'll bake a pie or something. Or maybe the Noahs will bake Link into a pie… That'd be funny too…. Right? So, I want to thank everyone who's been reviewing. My undying love and gratitude goes out to you eternally. Oh, and I'm going to try replying to all my reviews. I used to do that, back in the day, but lately I've been like… I'll do it in ten minutes. And then I never do, which is wrong, because ya'll are taking time to do something nice for me so I should thank you… Haha. Subjunctives. (As I write this I'm rather tired and am supposed to be doing Latin homework). Oh, and the Tyki and Wisely part of this… Dunno where that came from...

**Disclaimer: **I do not own DGM, because if I did then there would be a lot less shirtless Kanda and a lot more shirtless Lavi…

--

"How much can you fit under your skin? I wish you were dead babe I wish you were dead. I can fit too, I can fit two... I can fit two people under my skin and I will prove it if you will listen. You crawled up in there you joined me within."

-'Under My Skin' by Jukebox the Ghost

--

"What'd that idiot do?" A cigarette was removed from his mouth and a cloud of smoke appeared around his head. Next to him the woman laughed quietly and darkly for a moment while swatting away the smoke cloud that was threatening to engulf her lungs and give her a premature death. It always amazed her how he had managed to live this long with all of his bad habits being those that tended to bring on an early death.

Slowly she brought a small tumbler filled with an amber colored liquid up to her lips. "I thought that you said that you were actually fond of the boy now." Carefully she took a small sip, a tiny smile on her face as she did so.

Next to her, he grunted. "Whether or not I give a crap barely matters on the fact that he's still a complete idiot." Eagerly, he downed the rest of his drink in one large gulp. "Now stop beating around the bush and tell me what happened, woman."

There was a sharp noise and a red mark on his face a moment later. Waving out her hand, the woman turned a bit to the side. "If you don't start treating me like a real human, then I'll stop with these reports. I'm not doing this for any gain of my own."

Not caring at all about the woman's unfriendly gesture, the man laughed heartily, though breaking off where his chuckles threatened to break into coughs. Wounds needed time to heal; he had not given his enough. "What, being in my company when no one else is allowed isn't gift enough to you?"

The drink that she had savored a moment ago quickly was poured down her throat. Harshly she set the glass back on the table as she gave the man a stare as cruel as a hawk. "The Noah have infiltrated the Order. Apparently Walker was at the head of the parade to enter. Since then I've gotten no response from any of the people stationed at the main branch; we can only assume the worst." A small knot of worry rested in her stomach; since she was not there, the chances of the Order's survival were significantly decreased. But without the ark there was no way for her to make it in time to save her comrades; at this point giving this man the information that he needed was the best that she could do.

Almost as if he could read her mind, a smile grew on his face. "If that's the case, then why aren't you there trying to protect your precious Order?" Without being asked, he filled up his own glass and hers. Though she didn't appreciate his words, that gesture was.

"You know as well as I that there is no way that I could make it out there in time." Pausing in her speech, she drained her glass once again. "The best course of action for me at the moment is to remain safe; when the time comes I will head over to the Oceania Branch and reconnect with Central to see what I can do. For the moment, however, I can only go about trying to find as many new exorcists as I can, and hopefully one of them will be the Heart, so that this war could possibly end soon."

Smiling into the distance, it was almost as if he had not heard her words. "You know, when that kid first got to the order, Hevlaska told him that he would be the destroyer of time. Do you think that it's still true?"

Taking a deep breath, she admitted what she truly felt. "From the moment that I first laid eyes on Allen Walker, I knew that there was something special about him. Maybe it was the fact that he was a wolf in sheep's clothing, but deep down, I don't believe that to be true." As she stood up a small monkey hopped onto her shoulder. Lovingly, she gave it a small pat on the head. "I could be crazy, or a heretic, but there's a part of me that still believes that Walker is one of us. After all, the Innocence is still with him, even as a Noah."

"From your lips to God's ears, Klaud." As she left, he took a swig right from the bottle, and with a smile, he settled off to sleep.

--

Sword still in hand, Allen followed Link through the maze-like hallways of the Order. Despite all of Allen's… encouragement, the man refused to move any faster than a fast-paced walking speed. The suspense of finding Lenalee was almost too much for Allen to bear; he had already been forced to kill a friend, he may not last if his love was already dead.

In the halls was the dust of those members of the Order who had been killed by the akuma that the Noahs had sent in first. Their sacrifice would be remembered by the people here and, like Miranda, they too would be treated like heroes. Not that Allen cared at all, instead he just focused his mind on saving Lenalee from whatever was happening.

If the Order was threatening her, their blood would stain the floor.

If his family, the Clan of Noah, was threatening her, then they would not see the light of day again.

Allen was unafraid. This was his mission; the thing that he had to do. If anyone got in his way, friend or foe, they would have to die. Now that his hands were already red with the blood of a friend, nothing mattered. If he was already a murderer, then he would murder as much as he needed to in order to save her.

"We're almost there, Walker." Link said as calmly as if he was still the person ordered to watch Walker's movements in case he showed contact with the Noahs. Sadly, Allen realized that Link had not done his job very well; if he had killed Allen the moment that they realized that he was the Fourteenth, then this situation would have never happened. Still, there was nothing difference about his appearance or demeanor than there had been when he was Allen's comrade. It was reassuring to Allen, in a way. "Do you know where she is, perchance?"

Grimacing, Allen nodded, though Link could not see. "She's being tried for heresy, is she not?" A bitter edge crept into his voice. "Because of me."

"Exactly." Link said without any remorse. "And your being here makes that situation worse, you know. If you invaded the Order for the sole purpose of saving her then we can only assume that the two of you are keeping up contact and-"

"Then, as usual, the Order would be wrong." After pausing for a moment, Allen said the thing that he knew would be the biggest slap in the face to the Order. "Lavi and Bookman have joined my side of this fight; they're the ones who told me that Lenalee had a trial today." As Link walked Allen could see a new hesitation in his step. Apparently they had not been informed of Lavi's unwilling betrayal. Doubt would begin to fill the minds of the Order because of this second bout of treachery and if they survived this fight, they would kill each other from the inside out in no time. "I'm here to make sure that she doesn't get blamed for what I've done; none of this is her fault."

Allen followed Link around another corner that lead to the same corridors that Allen had once had a conversation with General Cross that had changed his life. Just being there made memories of the past swell in Allen's mind. Part of him would cheer the day that this corridor was destroyed. "Well, Walker. It's the third door down."

"Thank you, Link." For the moment he would spare Link's life; someone would get to him in time, and Allen needed to find Lenalee now, without any more distractions. "I appreciate this."

Eyes on the target, Allen's feet began to move, but was stopped by Link stepping in front of him. "If I may have just a moment, Walker, there's something that I need to say." Irritated, Allen stalled for the moment, hoping that this would be quick. Taking a deep breath, Link began to talk, taking down the filters that he had carefully placed in front of his speech the entire time he had been with his former comrade. "We're disappointed in you, Walker. You were one of the strongest members of the Order and you promised that you would not betray us, and yet you have. Because of this, you must have realized, you cannot come back to the Order-"

"I know all this already, Link. Do you have anything interesting to say, or are you going to waste my precious time for things that I already know.?" Raising his sword up as if threatening the man, Allen stared, waiting for the punch line to this conversation.

Even with Allen's sword being pointed at him, Link's expression did not change. "Fine, I'll hurry this up since you seem to be in such a rush." The sarcastic and superior tone of voice that Link had always had was not gone, even now. Without realizing it, Allen lowered his sword just a bit. Around them the Order was being destroyed. By that time the rest of the Noah should have gotten there and would be rampaging and killing everything that they could find. "It's your fault that this world will end, Walker, and I cannot find it within myself to forgive you." Link continued, his nose up in the air.

"That was a very girly thing to say, Link." A small laugh came out of Allen's mouth, and to Link, it seemed like the former exorcist almost looked like himself for a moment. Suddenly, however, Allen's air grew somber as he looked at the ground with a pained sort of expression. "Link, I know that it is." Eyes suddenly full of determination met with Link's. "But I can't _do_ anything. This isn't a choice; this isn't choosing what's for dinner. Being a Noah is part of me, and if I were to go against it, there would be a pain inside of me so great that not even death would come. No, living and fighting against my Noah would be like being tortured for the rest of eternity." A single tear ran down Walker's face. "There's only one thing on Earth that matters to me anymore, and she's in a room in this hallway, possibly being tortured or being killed, and since she's the only thing that I have to live for anymore, I have to do whatever I can to help her. If a few lives get in the way of that, then so be it. The sin is already on my shoulders and when judgment comes I'll accept my punishment."

--

One after another the akuma fell to Kanda's mighty Mugen with a battle defining slash of the blade. Storm after storm of Hell's Insects flew from his blade and attacked the nearby akuma, who seemed to come in a never-ending wave. Despite the adverse circumstances that the Order was in right now, Kanda was able to calmly kill each akuma that came his way with relative ease. Now that Walker was gone, it was easy to say that he was the most powerful non-general exorcist in the Order.

Next to Kanda, Krory was biting as many akuma as he could sink his teeth into, and savoring the savory taste of their blood. No matter what sort of food would pass through his lips, akuma was the most delicious thing that his taste buds knew. Most people thought that his taste for the poison was disgusting, but it was that very taste that was going to be part of the reason that the world was saved. So he sucked as much as he could without being poisoned and killed the rest with the super strength and speed that the blood gave to him. Around him was a pile of dead akuma almost as large as the one surrounding Kanda. For someone so shy and kind, he killed the akuma with relative ease.

On the other side of the room was Chaoji, who was trying his very best to not get killed along with Timothy. Each fought as much as they could, but against the Level Three akuma they felt that they were pretty worthless. Being the newest members of the Order, they had barely any experience with the higher-level demons, and were just hoping that they would make it out of this battle alive and maybe with one or two akuma bodies lying at their feet. Tiedoll, however, protected the two of them while fighting off his share of the demons with his weapon, Maker of Eden. Helping his teacher was Noise Marie, taking out akuma after akuma with his Noel Organ.

Most of the science department had been killed or evacuated, so the exorcists used their fullest powers without having to worry about protecting anyone. Even Chaoji did his best to weaken the akuma for the other exorcists who would be able to kill them.

But there was something wrong; there were people missing, and the fact that they weren't there was blatantly obvious. Everyone had expected Lenalee to be released from her trial when they first found out about the attack. Maybe she helped Allen, maybe she didn't. At this point it didn't matter as long as she remained loyal to the Order now; to try to save the remainder of the Order they needed the Dark Boots and the power that they brought with them. Without her power it would be a strain for these exhausted and blood crusted people to defeat the never-ending parade of akuma.

And as each person grew more tired and bloody, they couldn't help but to wonder where Miranda was. With their accumulating wounds growing more and more blatant and painful, it would have been nice for some time to be turned back so that they could fight their best once again. Even Tiedoll, a general, was feeling the results of his injuries, and felt that he would like nothing more than to settle down and take a nap.

In the midst of fighting Marie, with his super powered hearing, heard the unmistakable cracking noise of an Innocence fragment being shattered down the hallway. The blood stopped in his veins. He knew that it couldn't have been Lenalee's; she had been through far to many battles to let something like this take her down. Offensive was her best skill, and she would have put up more of a fight before letting her Innocence be destroyed. One tear rolled down his face as he used his Innocence to kill yet another corrupted soul as he thought of Miranda, the last time that he had seen her smiling. He knew that he would never again see her frantic movements or sweet laughter.

It was obvious to him that Miranda was the one whose Innocence was lost forever. No one else had an Innocence that would be taken down so easily. Not to say that she was weak or that she wasn't helpful; she just wasn't made for battle or war like the rest of them were. In his heart he wished that she would be happier in heaven with God than she was down here fighting what now seemed like a losing battle.

Hoping that it would keep up morale during the battle, Marie said nothing.

Without warning another flood of akuma came in through the door, this time with Level Twos and Ones mixed in with the Level Threes. Immediately Chaoji and Timothy began to work and take out the weaker ones, leaving the strongest to the more experienced exorcists. Enthusiasm filled them all; with the lower level demons, they knew that the stocks that the Noah had must have been running out. The battle would soon be over, and a victor decided.

"Do your best!" Krory yelled as he sunk his teeth into the flesh under the armor of another Level Three. Nodding, the rest of the exorcists tried.

--

"It's been so long since we've gotten a chance to really talk." Tyki said, pouting, as he ripped out the beating heart of a low-ranked science department member. "Since Walker came it seems like we've all been too busy for each other; especially you, Wisely."

Ignoring the sobbing science team member that Wisely had a hold of by the collar, Wisely stared at Tyki for a moment. "Tyki, I didn't know that you felt that way."

Shrugging as he took the one of the eyeballs out of the socket of another scientist and threw it over his shoulder, he spoke quietly. "It seems like we've all been just a little preoccupied lately." Talking a little louder to make himself heard over the screams of the science member, he avoided eye contact with Wisely, trying to stare at a blood-splattered wall instead. "I know that I'm just as guilty as everyone else, but it'd be nice if I didn't have to, you know, be the person to say something all the time."

Quickly, Wisely made the head of the person who he was holding explode. A shy expression on his face, he hesitantly walked over to his brother and wrapped an arm around him. "I'm sorry Tyki, I'll try harder. Sometimes I just get caught up in all of my problems and…" The screams of the now one-eyed scientist that Tyki still grasped annoyed Wisely, so he killed him.

Smiling, Tyki threw the body of the now deceased scientist into the pile that had began to collect in one corner of the room. He used his now free arm to wrap it around Wisely. "It's okay, bro."

"I'm really sorry that you've felt so alone, Tyki. I'll make it up to you, I promise." Around them the remaining scientists tried to limp or drag their near dead bodies away from the Noahs as fast as they could possibly move. "Our relationship is very important to me, and I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you."

Tightening his grasp around his comrade, Tyki smiled. "You already have, Wisely. You already have." Feeling invigorated with power, the two of them ran off smiling to finish of the last of the bastards of the Order.

--

_Mana, am I going down the right path? It's so hard to see in front of me anymore. This was a path that I chose. Right, Mana? It wasn't much of a choice, but still, I did have a decision in the process. But Mana, there's so much bloodshed and tears on this path that I've created that I'm finding it hard to continue moving._

_ The only thing that keeps me going is so near, Mana. Soon things will be better… I know that they will be. Never leave me Mana. Soon things will be better and the road will be brighter. Just don't leave my side until then._

_ I love you._

--

Tiny visions crossed his eyes as he slept. The past, the present, what was sure to be the future. So far all of his plans had gone precisely as planned. From the moment that he realized that Allen would carry out the will of the former Fourteenth, he knew what he had to do. Since then things had been a relative breeze.

Sure, he had a few more bruises than when he had started this whole crazy thing, and maybe he had a few gray hairs mixed in with his red ones, but his vanity would have to take a back seat. There would be no more women to woo if the world were to be destroyed by the Earl and his minions.

Slowly he opened his eyes. Thoughts flickered across his mind. There had been a lot of people who had died for this cause. The Fourteenth, himself. Mana, his brother and the person who Allen had cared so much for. Anita, the young, foolish woman who had been the only woman to have ever put any sort of a mark on his heart. Mahoja, the only person who he felt could match him in both manliness and strength.

Even though they were gone, they could still put a smile on his face. If that girl was still alive and had seen him now, she would have given him a reproachful look for his idiotic thoughts, but behind those eyes would be a sense of caring that she could not help but to display.

Her death was one that he had not planned.

Despite this, things were going well. If they progressed as predicted, then soon, very soon, the war would be over and the Earl defeated at long last.

--

Leaving Link behind him, Allen moved forward towards the door, putting his sword back into his arm while he walked. That was the goal that had been his creed since childhood; no matter what, he was to keep moving forward. Now, during the most pivotal point, he found that it was harder than ever to keep moving forward. Just the potential of what was behind that door was all of his dreams and nightmares combined. It was frightening to imagine what could possibly be behind it.

It took all of his strength, but nevertheless, he found it within himself to open the door.

What he was expecting was nothing compared to what met him. Instead of a girl tied down and broken by the people who had falsely imprisoned her, there was a room completely devoid of life except for the person that he found so important, and the one that she feared the most.

"Allen Walker, I wondered when you would join the two of us." Levrier said with a cruel smile on his face as he stirred a bit of sugar into a cup of tea. While the organization that was the last hope for the world was being destroyed he sat around drinking tea. There were even some parts of the Order that Allen found disgusting without the thoughts of the Noah influencing. "You see, this girl has been waiting for you for quite some time."

Allen's eyes moved from the horrible man over to the girl. Immediately something within him stirred. There was something so much different in her demeanor than there had been in the dream that he had of her. "Lenalee." Her name came out no more than a whisper, but even just hearing the syllables from his lips, Lenalee's resolve seemed to falter just a bit.

"I assume that you've heard about her trial, right, Walker? The Vatican wasn't pleased with the fact that she was so eager to help you-"

"She wasn't eager, I-" While he spoke he didn't look at Levrier, instead his eyes were locked on Lenalee's.

"Please be quiet while I'm speaking, Walker." There was such a calm tone to his voice that even Allen began to falter a bit. Despite being no longer under this man's control and even knowing that since he had no Innocence or no physical abilities either, he still felt that Levrier had a presence more dangerous than anyone else in the building at that time. "That's a boy. Now, as I was saying, Miss Lee here was about to begin a trail that would decide her fate as an exorcist, but because of your little break-in, we had to postpone it." Smiling, Levrier slowly took a sip of his tea. "Delicious." He said happily as he set the cup back down on its saucer. "But I thought to myself, what better a way to prove her loyalty to the Order than to have her fight against the Noah Clan that she so desperately hates?"

The word 'hate' struck Allen hard. They were enemies. That was a word that Allen had prepared himself for. Hate, however, was not something that he had expected to come from Lenalee.

"So you decided to set her up against me." Levrier nodded slyly.

"You're smarter than you appear, Walker. Though if you knew what was truly smart, then you would have stayed far away from here. Putting your friends in danger because of your presence is just-" Cutting Levrier off, Allen laughed. Scowling, Levrier demanded an explanation. "What is it that you find so funny, Walker?"

Smiling, Allen marched over to Levrier, his fear dissipating with each step. "Friends, you say? I have no friends here. I've already killed the people who I once considered to be my friends. My friends are with me here, doing the same thing as we speak." Hoping that Lenalee was tuning his words out, Allen continued. "While the people who you hope to save the world are fighting, you are sitting here trying to intimidate me and drinking tea." Smiling, Allen took Levrier's teacup off of its saucer and took a sip. It was too sweet. "Well, that time ends now." Activating his Innocence one again, his hand turned into a claw, which he enclosed around Levrier's neck. "Goodbye, Inspector Levrier."

Though his eyes grew wider, Levrier made no attempts to change his demeanor. "Miss Lee, if you would."

From behind Allen a light flashed as Lenalee whispered, "Innocence, activate!" A moment later he felt a great pain in his side from where Lenalee's Innocence-infused boots hit him. Immediately his grasp on Levrier went lose as he stumbled back a few steps, landing partially on the table that Levrier sat behind. Grunting, Allen stared at Lenalee, whose eyes were filled with determination and sadness.

She was really going to fight. This was an outcome that Allen had not expected. Out of all of the things that he thought that Lenalee may have done, fighting back was not the thing that he had not seen coming. "Why?" Was all that he could ask as he felt his blood run thicker through his veins. When there was a hole in Allen's heart, it felt almost as painful as this.

Smiling sadly, Lenalee looked down at the floor. "I told you, Allen, that next time we would meet we would be enemies. I love you, but I can't give up on humanity for you." Inside his body, Allen's stomach was churning. "The Order is my home, and my friends are the people here. You've destroyed my home, Allen, so now I have to destroy you."

Anger swelling through him at incredible speed, he tried to take a deep breath. This was all done for her sake; he wouldn't have wanted to destroy the Order so quickly otherwise. Because of her, Miranda was lying in a pool of her own blood somewhere, and that was Allen's fault. Trying to calm himself, he held up a finger on his normal hand. "Just one minute." He said as he took a step closer to Lenalee. Instinctively, she took one backwards. Smiling, Allen deactivated his Innocence, and held out a hand to her. "Just for a moment." Not without hesitation, she grabbed his hand, and he gently pulled her closer to her until their lips met for a brief moment.

From the back of the room, Levrier tried to stand up as quietly as he could. Getting killed would be quite inconvenient today, so he thought that it was best that he tried to escape this situation as soon as possible.

Almost instantaneously a large sword flung itself through its chest. Looking up, he saw Allen Walker smiling with a sort of grin that he would have never worn while at the Order. Apparently with becoming a Noah, Walker had lost his sanity.

There was a sharp scream from Lenalee as Allen walked over to where Levrier was now lying and pulled his sword out of the man's chest and a fountain of blood poured from the wound. The sword that could once only help the souls of creatures now seemed to destroy everything that came into its path.

The last thing that Levrier saw before closing his eyes for what he thought would be the final time, was Lenalee Lee attacking Allen Walker with as much force as she could muster through her frightened tears.

--

_End of Chapter Seven_


	8. Belong

**Chapter Title:** Belong

**Chapter Description:** While the fight between Allen and Lenalee continues, more and more of Allen's personality is taken over by the Noah within him. When the time comes for him to make a decision that could possibly take his love's life away, the results are surprising.

**A/N: **It's been a while. I've been busy. If you complain, I won't be pleased. I always seem to write Road in a sympathetic way, despite the fact that she's kind of a horrible person… Anyway, I find myself rooting for the Noah in the manga right now because the exorcists seem more evil than them at this point. That's probably why I write all of the Noah in a very sympathetic way, actually. XD Sorry for the short chapter, the inspiration for this fic has been low as of late. Anyways, this chapter's alternate name is 'The Chapter Where It Sucks To Be Lenalee Lee'.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own DGM, because if I did, the exorcists would seem a lot less evil.

--

"It's love that leaves and breaks the seal of always thinking you would be real, happy and healthy, strong and calm."

-'Where Does the Good Go' by Tegan and Sara

--

She kicked, he blocked it with his sword. When she tried to use one of her special attacks on him, he could sense it and counter it just in time. So many times he had fought along side her that he knew what each of her movements would be before even she could think of them. The strategies that she used during a fight were too predictable for her to get an edge.

But he couldn't fight her outright. As much as he wanted to push his sword into her chest because of the betrayal that he felt, he couldn't bring himself to do it. There were times during their fight when he had the chance, but the last remnants of his old self sung in the back of his head, telling him that he couldn't hurt her. If he were to hurt her, there would be no reason for him to continue living.

Lenalee, however, was trying her hardest. This was no longer the Allen that she knew, and however tenderly he had held her in that dream, this Allen caused nothing but destruction wherever he went. Those who were so destructive did not deserve to live; his death would be for the good of the world.

It was with that thought that she struck him as hard as she could with the intent to kill. Each moment that he was able to keep breathing was another moment that this imposter sullied the name of Allen Walker.

"Lenalee, stop this, you know that you can't win against me!" Again she tried to use her Innocence to attack, but with one shout of "Clown Belt!" Allen had her feet entangled within the webs of his Innocence. "I'm much stronger than you; you won't survive if we continue this!"

Ignoring his words, she struggled to free herself from his Innocence. "Let me go and let me fight! This is my job!" A few tears fell from her eyes again. They had been fighting for more time than Allen cared to think about, and throughout it all she cried, the tears flying in the wind as she jumped from place to place. More than anything he wanted to reach over to her, hold her close to his chest and wipe away her tears. And he would do just that, if she had let him. It didn't matter if she had betrayed him for the moment, it didn't matter that they were enemies, she just needed to say the word and… "I need to fight!" Finally she was able to escape the webs and she tried to launch a 'Waltz: Misty Wind' attack at Allen, but it was countered with a protective 'Cross Grave' from Allen, and it made no effect at all.

Panting and sweating, Lenalee took a few steps back to try to catch her breath. Whereas Allen was feeling nothing from their fight, Lenalee was getting so tired that she felt that it would be difficult to stand any longer. "Lenalee, run! Get away from here, I'll let you! I just want you to live!" Desperation creeping into his voice as he screamed the words, his 'Clown Belt' tied her up once again. "I just want you to survive this! Let me have your Innocence and run!"

"So this was your plan, lad." The telltale smell of smoke filled Allen's nostrils, and he didn't even need to turn his head to know that Tyki was standing behind him. "This is why you planned this entire thing; I had heard about the girl's trial, but I thought that it must have just been a coincidence. The fact that you would destroy the entire Order just to save this one person is…" There was a hand on top of Allen's head now. "Quite sweet. I never knew that you were some kind of hopeless romantic type."

With a struggling Lenalee to deal with and an irksome Noah to juggle with as well, Allen was having difficulties focusing on what needed to be done. "Don't interfere, Tyki. I'll kill you."

The Noah laughed. "Don't worry, I have no intention of doing so." Putting the cigarette in his mouth, he took a deep drag before speaking again. "I just came to warn you that everyone else is done for the day; with the one that we assume you killed, we got three exorcists down. Now we're bored, so we want to leave." Chuckling, he tapped his cigarette on a nearby overturned chair. "We're so fickle, aren't we?"

It was time to make a decision; Allen knew that. He would need to injure and possibly kill Lenalee here and take her Innocence by force, or let her wound him enough that it looks like he tried…

Knowing that no matter what he did, there would be a punishment to pay, he shut his eyes as he yelled. "Death ball!"

As the swirling ball of energy plummeted towards her, Lenalee's eyes opened wide. Unable to see what kind of destruction he would bring forth to Lenalee, Allen turned around, a tear dripping down his own face now. "Goodbye." He whispered.

Tyki put an arm around Allen's shoulders. "There's a good lad. Don't worry about collecting the Innocence, I'll-" Suddenly there was a sharp pain at the back of Allen's head. Before he blacked out, the last thing that he saw was Lenalee running away as fast as she could with the aid of her Dark Boots.

--

"Great job, my wonderful Noah! Another successful mission against the despicable exorcists!" Once again the Clan of Noah were situated around the long dinner table that they tended to gather at for the celebrations of their numerous victories. "A body count of over two hundred scientists and workers with three exorcist casualties, Miranda Lotto, Noise Marie and Chaoji Han. Despite the fact that none of them contained the Heart Innocence that we desire, it is worth raising a glass to our fine achievements in destroying the European Branch of the Order!"

Around the table the Noah cheered and clinked glasses, except for three notable exceptions. Allen Walker, Tyki Mikk and Road Kamelot were all missing from the celebration.

--

"I'm worried." Road whispered to Tyki as they both stared at the sleeping Noah. The last time it had taken one of them this long to recover was when Tyki had been hit by Allen's sword of exorcism, but even by now he had been able to open his eyes and speak. Allen remained comatose. "It shouldn't be taking this long!"

Next to Road was Tyki, who, though he refused to show it outwardly, was also worried about the boy, so much so that he wasn't even smoking. "Maybe he doesn't want to wake up." This was met with a hard smack on the head from Road.

"Of course he wants to wake up!" There was just a slight hint of desperation in Road's voice that made Tyki smile ever so slightly. "He needs to wake up! There are things that he needs to accomplish before…"

"Before what, Road?" Cold and hard, the words sounded like they came from a defeated man. "What is there left for me to do in this world?" Eyes open and staring at the ceiling, Walker seemed to finally be awake.

Smiling even more broadly, despite Allen's pessimistic tone of voice, Tyki put a hand on Road's head. "See, he's awake. There's no need to worry now." Irritated, Road pushed Tyki's hand away and inspected Allen. Even though there was nothing different about his outward appearance, the way that he stared at the ceiling as if there was nothing to live for any longer made Allen seem just a bit… different.

Despite being so beaten up and tired, Allen sat up, clutching his head in his hands. "How long was I out for?" Demanding and fierce, it wasn't even like it was Allen who was speaking anymore.

"Three days." Taking a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket, he carefully chose one and put it in his mouth. "You've made a record for the longest time it's taken a Noah to recover from an injury. Pathetic, lad." Digging through his pockets, he found his matchbox. Fumbling with trying to keep the cigarette in his mouth, light the match and talk at once, he managed to get the match lit. "You're almost a…" Slowly he brought the match up to the cigarette. "Disgrace to the Clan of Noah." Moments before the cigarette was aflame it was across the room, having been slapped away by Allen.

"That habit is _disgusting_." The boy spat. Tyki stared for a moment, half amused and half frightened at this kid's nerve. "Don't you have things to do that are more important than sitting around and smoking? Or are you just so useless that doing that is all that you're capable of."

Laughing, Tyki put a hand on Allen's shoulder. "You're so energetic; I'm glad to see that you're alright."

Next to him, a tear fell from Road's eye, that she quickly wiped away. Even though she was sadistic and cruel, it seemed that for some people, she did have a soul. "Allen!" Unable to contain herself any longer she jumped on top of the other Noah and rubbed her head against his cheek.

Surprised, Allen's façade of evil fell down; staring at Road, Tyki noted that the kid finally looked like himself once again. "We do care, you know. Even if you don't."

Inside of Allen's mind, something finally snapped into place. For the longest time he had tried to deny it, but now there was no need to. Something that had always seemed wrong was really right. A few tears flowed from his eyes at the realization that he was finally having, far too late. "I do."

Staring up at Allen, Road smiled. "What was that, Allen?" Joy spread through her body at the fact that Allen finally understood who he really was.

"I do care about… you. All of us. The Noah. I do care about… my family."

It was true; the Noah were his family. Everything before this didn't matter. The Order had been his temporary home; a foster care system for Allen before he had found where he truly belonged. The past was gone, and he now accepted that. Even the friends that he had cared so much about were irrelevant now. The only ones who would ever truly care were those who were in the Clan of Noah with him.

Happy, Road held Allen even closer to her. Things were going to work out and be okay. Finally, he knew exactly who would always care for him. "I'm glad that you finally understand, Allen."

--

It was dark and frightening. Unfamiliar with her surroundings, Lenalee was unable to decide which path to take and had no idea where any of them would lead her. Desperate, she needed to find another base of the Order. There were so many questions running around in her brain, so many scenarios that had been unanswered.

Weighing most heavily on her mind was the question of whether or not her brother had survived the battle with the Noah.

Almost too much for her mind to bear, she tried to think of happier thoughts and times, but her resolve faltered even more when she remembered that the times that she had felt most happy had been the times that Allen had been by her side.

For what seemed like hours she stumbled through the dense forest that surrounded the new location of the Order. They had thought that it would be a good idea to surround themselves with difficult nature to get through, both for camouflage and for protection, but as Lenalee cut on branches and bruised on rocks, she cursed the fools who had decided to put the Order there.

From the darkness a pale hand shot out and grabbed Lenalee. Before she was even able to scream, it was over her mouth and a voice was telling her to be quiet. Almost immediately all of the worry flew away from Lenalee. That voice was familiar to her, and in a good way. "Lenalee, how long have you been out here? We've been searching for hours." Kanda said angrily as he turned her around and removed his hand. "We thought you were dead."

Relieved and tired, Lenalee began to cry. "Thank goodness!" She cried as she wrapped her arms around Kanda's stiff body. Sobbing into his chest, she clenched his clothes tight in her hands, desperate to feel something familiar and real.

Hesitantly, Kanda patted her back a few times, not quite the one to go to for kind words and relief. "Come on, Lenalee, I'll take you to the others." Grabbing his hand and letting her guide him as if she were a child, Lenalee went forward to go to the only people that she had ever called a family and had ever known as a home.

Through the woods the two of them walked until they reached a campsite with a fire going. Sitting around was a group of people so familiar and kind that she could cry. Krory, Timothy, Link, Generals Tiedoll and Sokalo… along with many others. "Most of the scientists were sent home, but a few decided to stay behind and come with us to a different Branch. It'll be a long journey, but we have to make it."

It occurred to Lenalee that so many of the people who she had known were gone, having either escaped and returned home or even worse, dead. There were less than fifty of the hundreds who had once worked in the Order around the fire or milling about the area. Wounded people were being treated as best as they could with the medical equipment that they had; since there was a chance that there were still akuma or, even worse, Noahs, still in the Order, it would have been dangerous to go back to get better equipment, so the people in pain had to survive until they could go back.

Her heart skipping a beat, Lenalee noticed someone that wasn't near the campfire or milling about the area. "Kanda… Where… Where is my brother?"

"I'm right here, Lenalee." For the first time that day, joy filled Lenalee as she saw her brother's smile turn around from bandaging a member of the science department member. Before Komui was even able to stand up, Lenalee ran over to him and fell into his arms, tears flowing down her cheeks. "It's all going to be alright."

--

When Lenalee fell into sleep, she was dropped, once again, into a dream that had haunted her for years. Loneliness swept over her as she saw the ruins of the Order that had once seemed like a far off future, but now were a frightening present.

"Beautiful, aren't they?" A voice asked from behind her. A chill ran up her spine. "The blood and destruction… They're beautiful paired with the people who stand in our, the truth's, way."

"How could you say that?" Feeling as if she wanted to run, she spoke with a slight tremor to her voice. "This place was once your home, if you recall."

Laughing, footsteps brought the voice closer to her. "That place was never really my home. My home is with my family, something that the Order never was." That chilling voice was now right near her. "It was only a stepping stone for where I am now, a place with people who I love and care about and feel the same way for me in return."

"I loved you, that wasn't enough?" Wishing to wake up, Lenalee crossed her arms in front of her chest, praying that the nightmare would be over soon.

There was a step backwards, and the voice became quiet and sad. "It was… but that feeling doesn't remain on either side now, does it?" A small snort came from him, along with the cynical words of someone who had been through a great ordeal like him. "Feelings don't matter unless they're in the present. I can't care about what happened in the past if I'm going to keep moving forward like I need to."

"What if…" Trailing off, Lenalee surveyed the destruction around her, wishing that things were different. "Those feelings hadn't changed? Would that change anything, Allen? Do you really believe that your fate is so sealed?"

No response came. Worried, Lenalee turned around to see nothing standing behind her. Seeing that great nothingness that told her that there was no hope, made a tear fall from her eye. Turning back around to face the destruction of the place that she loved, she saw a figure sitting on top of it.

It was him, it was Allen, laughing and smiling, beaconing her to come up and join him. Knowing that she would live a life of regret if she did not, her legs carried her up to where he was. Even if it was one sided and silly, even if she could never be with him in the real world and even if the world thought it was disgusting and unwarranted, in her dreams, Lenalee knew that she would do anything for that white head of hair and charming smile.

--

_End of Chapter Eight_


	9. Changes

**Chapter Title:** Changes

**Chapter Description:** The nightmare continues, and Allen's shift in personality is revealed even more to Lenalee. When they awake Allen decides to take matters into his own hands while an exorcist worries about Lenalee's sanity.

**A/N: **Woah. I am so sunburned right now. I went on vacation and fell asleep on a boat without sunscreen on. _Bad idea_. Anyways, has anyone read 'X/1999' or 'Tokyo Babylon'? I'm just sort of curious. I seem to be writing for them nowadays than DGM. That, 'Pandora Hearts' and 'Fairy Tail'. The only non-DGM chapter fic I have going is 'Fairy Tail'. Ah… All so good… And I'm watching 'Soul Eater'. I can't wait to finish that up and begin to write some Death the Kid related stuff. Anyhow, hope you enjoy the chapter. Its alternate title is 'The Chapter in Which Everything Changes For the Worse'. Don't worry, I promise he'll get (somewhat) better very soon. And yeah… Allen/Road shippers rejoice… XD

**Disclaimer: **I do not own DGM, because if I did, Wisely would have all this character building instead of Kanda.

--

"You shut your mouth, how can you say I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does."

-'How Soon is Now?' by The Smiths

--

"Lenalee, you're so gullible. Did you really think that after all of that, I would still care, and still feel the same?" A few moments ago she had been walking towards Allen once again, and now… "I don't care about you any longer." She didn't even struggle against the chains that now bound her. "I won't even be happy when I kill you; my emotions will just be apathetic. I'll probably even be bored." His cheek touched hers as he leaned forward on the rock that he had trapped her on. "Your death will be just one of many. Impersonal and dull; when your blood splatters against the pavement I will not look twice for I will have killed all of your friends before that, and continue to kill afterwards. By no means will your death be anything special to me. Doesn't that make you insane? Doesn't that make you hate me?"

A deep breath. "No matter what you did, Allen, I could never hate you." And those words were true.

He had killed her friends and fought her. He had betrayed the Order and had taken part in destroying it. There was so much for her to hate him for, so much to be angry about. But when she saw his face she knew that she had lost. Forever would she be a slave to those eyes, even when filled with evil thoughts, and that would not change. She had given him her heart, and she could not undo that deed so easily.

He laughed; it was a low, deep sound from the bottom of his throat. It was not how he had laughed with her when they had been friends. It was the laugh of a wild dog, not a calm man. "That's what's so beautiful about this. You don't hate what's bad for you! You hate your silly God, and yet you follow him so happily to the grave." His head pulled back and he grabbed her chin with his right hand. Little red marks formed under his grasp. "But you don't hate _me_, the one who wants, more than anything, to stab you in the chest right now." A small puddle of salty water formed above his fingers. Breathing deeply, he leaned back towards her, as if he were going to kiss her. "Oh, and I would. I would. But this is just a dream." For a moment his lips hovered close to hers, and she thought that he was going to do it.

If his lips were to just meet hers, then maybe he would laugh with that usual happy look in his eyes and say 'April Fools!' and everything would be fine. They would still be on different sides of all of this, but he would be him and she could be her and they could have these little dreams together and they could both remain sane. It was a long shot, but she prayed deep within herself that this was all just a cruel prank. It was too horrible to be true.

There was a great gust of wind and he was miles away from her, it seemed. The shackles fell from her arms and she fell to her knees. It was not weakness of the body, but her breath was gone. "Allen." If there was no humanity left in him, it was over. There was no hope for anyone. "Come back, Allen." There would be no fairy tale ending to their story; she knew that. Still, she wanted to at least have a few happy moments before their tale reached its conclusion.

Giddy and cheerful, when Allen spoke it reminded Lenalee of the Earl, himself. "Goodbye Lenalee, my one, my only, my love!" Each mocking word dug into her soul and ripped out a little more of the small amount of hope that she had left running through her veins. "You and I shall meet again, and soon! Because it will be I who stops your breathing, and then your heart, and then your very life. Isn't that wonderful? Isn't that great? The world will be over soon, but you won't even be there to witness its destruction." The throaty laugh came once again; it echoed around the ruins of the Order. "So stay well until then, and let not a drop of your blood be shed until my sword reaches deep into your chest!" His eyes faced her, blazing with the humor that he found in this situation. "Make me that promise, my love, that none shall harm you until I kill you."

And with that, her eyes opened, brimming with tears.

--

It was very nice, Road thought, to see Allen so enthusiastic. Having woken up that morning, he came right down to have breakfast with them all and did so with a smile on his face. When asked how he had slept he told them that he had never had a better dream and that afternoon, he even graced the group with his presence that evening for a game of cards. A smile adorned Road's face the entire day.

But that night, when Allen dragged her into his room, things changed, just a little. "Road." He said, his eyes sharp and cutting into her own. "There's something that I want to go do."

Desperate to keep the mood as bright as it had been that entire day, she twirled around with a smile, leaning on the wall to Allen's room. "And what would that be? Tell me that it's school appropriate, Allen, or else the Earl will be angry with you." The smile that she had tried to pass to Allen was not reciprocated.

"I want to go kill the exorcists. One by one. Alone." Pausing, he closed the distance between the two of them. "I need you to cover for me, Road. The Earl doesn't want us moving without his commands, and if I were to do this, he would be furious. I need you on my side."

"Why me, Allen?" Irritated at the extra responsibility that was being thrust on her, she crossed her arms. "Isn't there someone else that you could get to do your dirty work? Tyki or Wisely? Why does it always have to be-"

His lips landing firmly on hers cut off her voice. Eyes wide, Road could do nothing but stare for a moment. This was strange, it shouldn't be happening but… She shut her eyes. There was nothing that said that she couldn't enjoy this time. Maybe Allen had finally realized the depth of her feelings for him. Sure, her father would sure to be furious with her, but that didn't change the fact that this was… really happening?

"Lenalee!" Pushing Allen's chest, she shouted that at him. "Wasn't it just yesterday that you were going out of the way to save your little exorcist girlfriend?"

Laughing as he touched the spot where she had pushed him, Allen closed that distance once again. "I'm sorry if I was going to quickly, Road. That girl though… She's totally out of my mind now. I could care less." His right hand reached up to her cheek and a finger traced a line down her face. "I've just recently realized what is important to me, and that list includes you at the top, Road." Once again, he reached down to touch his lips to hers, but she dodged.

It had finally dawned on her.

"You're not Allen, are you?" He stared. "This isn't like him at all." A smile grew on his face. "You're the Fourteenth; there's no Allen left in his body anymore. You've taken him over." The smile took over his features within an inhumane quality about it.

The hand that was still on her cheek tightened its grasp. "You're quite smart, Road. No one else would have been able to realize that so quickly." That hand now reached down towards her neck, holding it in a threat; he would try to kill her if there was no other choice.

Knowing that she couldn't die in the form that she was in now, this didn't scare her in the least bit. "What are your intentions then? Just to kill the exorcists and help the Earl along?" The previous incarnation of the Fourteenth had betrayed them all. Just as Allen had betrayed the Order, would he betray his family?

Laughing just a little, his grip tightened. "For now, at least. What happens in the future is up to fate, which not even you know." Taking a breath, he let go, and all traces of the evil lurking inside of him was gone. Taking off that mask, he looked the same as he had all day. "So, will you cover for me, Road? It would mean a great deal to me if you would do me that small favor."

Wanting to bring the old Allen back, but not wanting to make an enemy out of this new one, she nodded her head. "Sure, Allen, I will, but on one condition."

Smiling, he tilted his head slightly to the side in a gesture that most would have found adorable. "And what would that be, Road?"

"You cannot kill Lenalee Lee, no matter what."

The dark look returned to Allen's face once again, the façade growing thin. "W-What?" He asked through clenched teeth.

"I will help you until the moment that you spill her blood. When that happens I'll report to the Earl, who will kill you immediately." As happy as a clam on the outside, she smiled and tilted her head in the same fake way that Allen did a moment ago. "Do we have a deal?"

The darkness spreading over his features even more and his voice coming out with even more of a struggle to keep calm, he asked a breathy "Why?" to Road.

Giggling, she put a finger to her lips. "I have my reasons."

But they both knew why it was Road didn't want Allen to kill Lenalee. She was the key; if the real Allen was to ever escape the influence of the Fourteenth's personality, Lenalee would be the reason why. And though Road wanted nothing less than to have to rely on an exorcist, she knew that this was the only thing she could do to help the Allen that she really did love.

--

It was still the middle of the night when she woke up. Around her everyone else was asleep, recovering from the attack. Moans of pain and from nightmares were everywhere; no one had been saved from the horrors of the past few days.

Eyes wide open, she stared at an open sky. There had been tents set up, but those who were most injured had been given first priority to spend the night in them. Lenalee did not rank on that list. A broken heart was not an injury that could make you die; it was just something that made you feel like you were no longer able to live.

Still, it wasn't too bad to be sleeping under the dark sky. It was empty, but still, full of promise. There were so many stars out there. On one of them there had to be other worlds, places that would survive even if this place was destroyed. If the Earth was the center of everything in the universe, then what would be left when the Noahs won and it was gone? No, there had to be something else.

"Are you awake?" Head turning, she saw Kanda sitting up a few sleeping bags away, looking at her. There were a few bandages on him, but luckily the attack on the Order didn't seem to leave him too injured. She was glad.

"Yes." She whispered, hoping that she wouldn't disturb the peace of anyone sleeping.

He got up and gestured for her to do the same. In silence the two of them walked until they reached the edge of the camp. When they did, Kanda turned towards Lenalee, the same stoic face that he always wore prominent on his face. "I've heard about all that's been happening to you lately." She looked down at her feet. "And I've heard about Walker and what he's been doing as well. I always knew that he-"

"Don't say a word about Allen, please." Still looking at the ground, she was pleading. There was no energy left in her to argue; all she wanted was to forget that the current Allen existed and just live with the memories of the old Allen in her heart. "I don't think that I can-"

"Lenalee, I overheard you in your sleep." Sighing, he crossed one arm over to grab onto the other. "You were talking to him. It was not something that I think-"

"He comes and sees me sometimes in my dreams." She whispered, her arms crossed against her chest tightly, as if they were what was keeping her from falling apart entirely. "And he says the most frightening things." Looking up, there were tears brimming on her eyes. "He says that he's going to kill me."

Kanda's eyes grew wide. "Lenalee, that's-"

"But it's not him, it's not Allen." The tears stayed firmly in her eyes as she shook her head. "It can't be; he's nothing like how he was."

"Lenalee, he's a Noah now, there's no chance that he-"

"No, there's every chance that he stayed the same!" Raising her voice to a normal speaking tone, she looked at Kanda with fire in her eyes. "Just because something like that comes along doesn't mean that you change entirely. When I became an exorcist I was still Lenalee Lee."

"If I recall, when you became an exorcist you had to be tied to a bed because your behavior was so-"

"This is different!"

"No." He put a hand on Lenalee's shoulder. "It's not." When she refused to respond, staring at him looking like there was nothing in the world that she could say, he dropped his hand back to his side. "Allen Walker is dead to us; he is the Fourteenth, a Noah, and someone who you need to cut of contact with." Turning around, he began to walk away, leaving Lenalee, but turned his head. "If those dreams continue ask your brother to make you some sleeping medicine that will cut out those insane dreams."

And he left her there, standing alone.

He, however, had a destination to go to. Back through the camp of sleeping people he walked until he entered a tent where a few people sat in quiet conversation. When he entered, they all looked at him with expectant eyes. "She's insane."

"You're joking." Howard Link said. "She's been through a lot, but she can't be-"

"She thinks that she's getting death threats from a Noah in her sleep." Kanda said as he took the only empty seat in the round table in the tent. "If that's not insanity then-"

"All Noah have unique abilities." Tiedoll interjected. "Perhaps it is Walkers to communicate through dreams. There is that possibility. We do not know the exact scope of the previous Fourteenth's abilities, but I wouldn't put that as something beyond his capabilities."

There was nodding around the table. Komui Lee sat with his head in his hands.

"Yes, but if those delusions are just the ramblings of a broken mind and not from the Noah himself, then Lenalee may be a danger to herself and to everyone around her." A man from Central who had come to replace the Inspector said. "Perhaps we should just take her Innocence now-"

"No, I'll tell you what we'll do." From the front of the tent came a booming voice that was familiar, but unheard for quite some time. Mouths opened in awe and shock. Kanda turned his head and could not believe his eyes.

Standing there with General Klaud Nine was the former General, Marian Cross.

"From here on out you'll listen to my instructions if you know what's good for you. I've been to hell and back, and I know some ways to help you all avoid the same fate that I had." Walking closer to the table, he pushed some guy from Central off of his chair and took a seat. Too scared at the man who was supposed to be dead to argue, he sat on the floor. "Lenalee Lee will not be staying here. Instead she'll be infiltrating the Noah." Komui's head popped up, a look of sheer terror on his face. "I have a contact on the inside. It's time for us to turn this war around."

--

It was cold and dark in that place. No sun reached the innermost depths of his mind. Surrounding him were only the thoughts of cold destruction that had been destroying him from the moment that he had become a Noah.

Bit by bit he had found himself being locked up within this place.

And more and more it was hard to keep his sanity. Each moment it felt like the pressure of these thoughts would make his brain explode and he would just die. This pain was worse than death, however. Each moment was a struggle, each breath more difficult than the last.

But he was surviving. However hard that struggle was, Allen Walker was not yet dead. Locked away in the cold recesses of his own mind, Allen stayed waiting, hoping, praying that one day he would be able to break through and solve the problems that he had created.

Because it had not been him in his body for a very long time.

--

_End of Chapter Nine_


	10. Trapped

**Chapter Title:** Trapped

**Chapter Description:** The Fourteenth and Allen have an interesting relationship inside of their shared mind. Though they hate each other, there is a grudging respect for the other born from the love of the same man.

**A/N: **I think that this is my favorite chapter. Sure, there's not much action and sure, there aren't many characters, but I really liked writing this. Only a few chapters left, by the way. I think it'll be fifteen chapters in all. Sixteen if I decide to do a sort of omake-esque thing at the end like I've done with my other long chapter fic. Which I'll probably do. Because I liked writing that one, even though it sort of ruined the mood at the end. But no one really cares because no one reads my author's notes anyway, so I'll just shut up now.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own DGM, because if I did, it would go back to weekly serialization.

"No one's gonna take me alive, the time has come to make things right."

-'Knights of Cydonia' by Muse

The times that it was most annoying were the times that the Fourteenth decided to poke him from within his own subconscious. Kanda had nothing next tot his guy; the Fourteenth was the biggest ass that Allen had ever met. Constantly he would come to bother Allen, and though it was a reprieve from the monotony and pain of the darkness, it still was never a pleasant experience.

"Today I killed a friend of yours…" Smiling, the Fourteenth stared at Allen, hoping to get some sort of reaction from the kid; that kid always had the best sort of reactions. "Bookman, his name was."

Sighing, Allen felt very bored. The Fourteenth was always killing someone or another; every day he'd come over with the stories of how his friend screamed in agony as he cut open their chest and took out their beating heart, seeing the last bit of terror fade from their eyes as he pretended to take a bite. And since he had gotten Road's approval three months ago, it had gotten more than annoying. The deaths came more frequently and became more severe. Allen thought that the Fourteenth had just become an insufferable show-off as of late. "He was on your side, I thought; why would you go off him if he was doing you no harm?"

The Fourteenth laughed, loving how his host remained calm now. When he had first started their little talks, Allen would cry and scream when he learned about who was the next name on the list of casualties. Now it was like it was old news. With a sense of pride, the Fourteenth's smile widened, knowing his little boy was beginning to grow up. Like a parent, he almost felt himself tearing up, though that was more likely heartburn or something of that sort. "His little brat of an apprentice."

Allen perked up just a bit. The Fourteenth picked at his fingernails. "Lavi, you mean?" The Fourteenth nodded. "What's he been up to lately?" It had been some time since Allen had heard anything about his old friend.

"Giving our secrets over to the exorcists." Allen laughed. "He's been doing it for a while now, without anyone noticing. No one ever guessed, though we probably should have. It was Wisely who figured it out in the end; he overheard some of his thoughts about the Order and put two and two together. Bookman my ass; that kid's no neutral player." The Fourteenth paused for a moment. "Luckily, we didn't get any casualties from the little traitor; it just allowed the pitiful Order to survive a few extra weeks that it wouldn't have otherwise."

"I guess he never really was much of a neutral player." Allen shut his eyes for a moment, trying to picture his friend. It hadn't been too long ago that they had met face to face; Allen was still somewhat in control when they had last spoken. But still, the image was blurry; he had been trapped for so long that he had begun to forget most of the faces that he had once known. The darkness had crept into his mind, staining his memories of the light. Except, of course, for one that stuck out to him brighter than anyone else's, but he did not dare linger on that thought. "But that doesn't answer the question of why you killed Bookman." Poor guy; he didn't seem to have much longer anyway, but it was a shame that he had to be killed, especially someone who had the face of someone who he had once trusted.

The Fourteenth moved from picking at his nails and began to scratch his back. It really astounded Allen how similar he looked to Tyki; the two of them were practically twins. "The bugger ran off last week after he had been found out. We assume that he's joined the exorcist camp. To get back at him I killed his mentor. It seems fair to me, don't you think?" The Fourteenth grinned at nothing in particular.

"All is fair in love and war, I guess." Allen added, hoping not to anger the Fourteenth. He had found that it was better to take a more civil approach while speaking to his captor; the pain of his soul being bound seemed to be less when his subjugator was happy. "Is Lavi next on your list, then?"

The Fourteenth shrugged. "I'm getting bored with exorcists, in all honesty. They're too easy. I'm thinking of starting on the Noah soon; they'll be much more fun to kill because they're at least somewhat of a challenge. They're not immortal, but they're still a bitch to kill. Even the weakest ones are more of a challenge than most of the exorcists ever would be."

"You're very sure of yourself."

The Fourteenth shrugged. "You don't get anywhere in life without quite a bit of self-confidence. Mana had always told me that; my brother was not afraid of anything. I think that's how he could stand to be a clown and have people laugh at him so often. He had no fears."

If there was one thing that the two of them both agreed on, it was their feelings for Mana. When they had spoken for the first time, the only thing that they could agree on at all was Mana and all of his praises. The Fourteenth was near to erasing Allen's soul once and for all, but when he realized that he cared for his brother almost as much as he did, he let the bugger stay. Each tiff that they had made them think of Mana and how he had cared about the other. Even if they were not fond of each other, which they weren't really, they still had Mana's memory to remember and respect.

"You think he's watching, Allen?" The Fourteenth asked, insecurity in his voice for the first time. Morality was not something that the Fourteenth wasted much time thinking about, but the approval of his brother was something that he did think of quite often. In the darkest parts of his own mind, he knew that his brother would not approve of his actions and would deplore him for what he had done, but outwardly, he tried not let this upset him. "From up there, I mean?"

Allen shrugged, doubting if there really was anything up there. If there was, then there should have been something to give him hope. Allen was a chosen disciple of God, but his Innocence was now being used for evil. Why had he not become a Fallen One? Why had God put him in this situation in the first place? As Allen was a prisoner inside of his own head, those were questions that he pondered quite often. Like the Noah that he had become, he had begun to think that maybe God was not the saint that he pretended to be.

"It depends, was he as bloodthirsty back in the day as you are now?" The Fourteenth laughed, glad that the kid had as good of a sense of humor as he did. Cross was right in the fact that he should have picked a host that was less… good than Allen was, but he didn't think that he could have as civilized conversations with some random hobo off of the street as he could with Allen. "But probably. Maybe."

"Maybe." The Fourteenth agreed, looking up at the endless abyss of Allen's mind. "Or maybe not. Or maybe something in-between."

Allen said nothing, trying to remember his foster father. Through the years Mana had been his driving force. What would the man who told him to keep moving forward say about the fact that he was more stuck than ever? For months Allen had been unable to move forward; his father's own brother was the one who was impeding his movement.

"I'll get my body back, just so you know." This was not the first time that Allen had said this, and it was also not the first time that the Fourteenth had laughed at the boy's foolish words. "One day you'll be out of here and I'll be back in control and I'll right all of the wrongs that you-"

"Boy, you realize that even if you were, by some miracle, able to get your body back, you still would be a Noah." The Fourteenth paused, a look of euphoria on his face. "Your exorcist friends still wouldn't take you back."

Allen wanted to scream that it wasn't true. Sure, he wouldn't be welcomed with open arms by everyone at the Order, but there was at least one person who had said that she didn't care what he was. While the Fourteenth killed everything that he cared about, Allen was able to sneak into his dreams. He had heard Lenalee. He had known what she had said. Even if Allen could not be forgiven by the Lord for what he had done, she would always be there for him when push came to shove.

"I'll kill the girl when I can." This was the part of the conversation where things tended to get much less civil, much less proper. This was the point in the conversation when one of them wanted to kill the other. "As soon as the moment arises, I will. Maybe I'll take out some of the Noah first. Maybe I'll be the Earl before I get to her, but one of these days, I'll rip your little girlfriend's throat out."

"Shut up."

"I know that you were there in that dream, but it's okay, I lied to her. I'll kill her with much care."

"Shut up."

"Like a lover I'll rip out her throat gently, with the greatest care. As she suffocates I'll watch the color drain from her face, making sure to store the memories of those moments in great detail in my mind, so that in my moments of unhappiness, I can look back at those moments as a great triumph."

"Be quiet!"

"But then again, perhaps suffocation is not the way that I should go about it, what do you think, Allen?"

"If you don't stop now, I'll-"

"Yes, I suppose you're right, Allen. There are so many other ways to torture her before performing the final deed." The Fourteenth's white teeth shined out, a contrast from his gray skin. His Cheshire cat grin, shining in the darkness like a lighthouse leading to hell. "Death is so very permanent, there's no reason to bring it forth so suddenly. She should have time to suffer before we end her life. We should make it our business to give her an experience before her final breaths."

"What is this 'we' that you speak of?" Allen was having difficulties controlling his temper; there was no 'we' in this situation. There was 'him, 'him', and nothing but 'him'. He could blame Allen as much as he wished, but he could never make up for the fact that it was he, not Allen, who was sending innocent people to their graves. "You're doing this on your own; you'll have no help from me."

The Fourteenth laughed, its noise ringing around Allen's mind. It echoed off of the walls of the abyss and came back to them as a faint ghost of a whisper. Shivers ran down Allen's spine. "The problem with that, my dear Allen, is that despite all that you may protest, I still wear your face. The truth of the matter is that it will be your face, your eyes and your smile that she will see in her last moments. And as she takes her few final breaths, the last memories that she will have will be those of you holding a knife covered with her blood in your hands. Your girl isn't as smart as Road; she hasn't figured out that your body no longer belongs to Allen. She will have no idea that it is me, and not you, that is ending her life."

Allen rolled his eyes despite the fact that in the inside of his heart, he knew this to be true. Passionate and loving, thinking while upset was not something that Lenalee was the best at. "She'll see through your façade."

"I doubt it." The Fourteenth's smile faded. "Most people, even if you care about them deeply and vice versa, are rarely able to see through the masks that you put on." In his own mind, the Fourteenth battled his own demons. Just like all people, there were dark thoughts that flowed through his head, making him scream out the names of those long gone in the middle of the night. "Do not hope for the best; always expect the worst."

"You're so cynical." Allen said, hoping that he wouldn't cry.

The Fourteenth chuckled, his smile looking sincere for the first time in their conversation. "I think that, with all that I have been through and fought for and against, I have the right to be."

And then, in a blink of an eye, the Fourteenth was gone, and the weight of his own worries and conscious back on his back, Allen was once again swallowed by the darkness of his mind.

Still, there was a light, and he would cling to that. One day, he knew, that light would grow wider and wider and he would be able to climb out and return, once again, to the world. When that happened he would forever banish the Fourteenth from his mind and go about trying to make amends for all of the evil deeds that he had caused. And that was why Allen could keep his eyes open against the darkness and hope that he would live to see another day.

He would survive and he would bring back what was his and he would save the people that he loved.

"Any casualties?"

The former bookman grimaced; this wasn't a job that he liked, but it was one that he had to do. Still, the words wouldn't come out of his mouth; they were stuck at the base of his throat, not wanting to leave that safety. Since he had heard, it had been difficult for him to stomach and he was truly in deep denial. There were multiple stages of dealing with that sort of loss, he knew, but that was only because Bookman had taught it to him. It would be a while until he got over them because his loss was that of someone who meant so much to him. "Bookman was killed by Allen."

The words were strange coming from his mouth. It was something that he had never thought that he would have to say. Bookman had always seemed so invincible. How many times had the old coot been close to death and pulled through? Lavi never learned how old his mentor was, but he seemed to be millions of years old; Lavi couldn't imagine a world where Bookman wasn't there, lurking in the shadows, and writing down the secrets of the world.

Thinking of his body lying bloody in a ditch somewhere was unbelievable. It was a fairy tail. It was not true.

"I'm sorry, Lavi." Komui put a hand on the boy's shoulder, but the boy did not break down and cry. Instead he smiled through his anger and sadness. "You don't have to pretend, if you don't want to."

"Just let me pretend please, Komui. I've spent so long doing just that that I'm no longer sure how to react otherwise." Since Lavi had officially joined the side of the exorcists as himself, and not as a bookman, Lavi had come out of his carefully built persona more and more. The flimsy lies and acting that he had been performing since he came to the Order wore off bit by bit, and without Bookman's careful eyes upon him, Lavi was finally able to show where his loyalties really were. "I need to deal with this the way that I can."

Komui let go and Lavi walked away, less swagger in his step than usual. No one had been themselves lately, not with all of the death and sadness that followed the Order wherever it went now. Sometimes it seemed like this war could not have the outcome that they wished for so desperately. More exorcists were added to the list of the deceased and science department members had been disappearing from their homes on a daily basis now. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that the Noah were winning this war right now.

But hope remained. There was always hope. A month ago Lenalee had left with Cross to 'train'. Allen, back when he was on their side, had told wild stories about his training with the general, but Komui let her go anyway. For the first time since Allen had left there had been something for her to live for, and Komui was glad to see that spark back in his sister's eyes.

And that spark, hopefully, would be the spark that would save them all. Lenalee Lee was the key to the salvation of the world, and her brother only wished that she could bring the world back to what it had once been.

_End of Chapter Ten_


	11. Finale

**Chapter Title:** Finale

**Chapter Description:** Everything has come down to one defining moment that means the end.

**A/N: **This has been in limbo for a long time, so I decided to end it short and sweet. Don't kill me; I'm just sick of not having any ideas for this and being haunted by its existence.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own DGM, because if I did, Alma wouldn't haunt my nightmares.

…

"_And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make._"

-'_The End_' by The Beatles

…

The air was thick as Allen, nay, the Fourteenth, walked out of the Millennium Earl's offices.

"Is that it?" Allen asked the man who had taken over his body. "Is that all that you had wanted to do?"

"Yes," the Fourteenth told the boy as he gave him back control of his body once again. "That was all I needed to do."

Allen sighed. "You know, you could have just told me that in the first place."

The Fourteenth pouted. "But I know you would have never gone for it if we hadn't gotten to know each other a bit better beforehand."

"Yeah, but…" Allen shook his head. "You all tried to destroy humankind when all you wanted to do was talk about the ending of _He's Just Not That Into You_. Don't you think that it all was a bit extreme? If you had just told me that you wanted to discuss it with the Earl and then this whole apocalypse thing would be over then I'm pretty sure I would have let you just-"

"IT'S JUST THAT JUSTIN LONG DESERVED BETTER!"

"Can I go make out with Lenalee now?"

"Knock yourself out," the Fourteenth said with a yawn. "I'll just pretend that it's the Earl…"

"You're disgusting."

"So is the author of this story."

"Exactly."

And then Road, angry that she was yet again not chosen to be Allen's love muffin, burned down the Ark, burned down the Order and killed every other character in the series.

…

_Fin_

It's been an… interesting ride. Maybe someday I'll delete this and post the rest of what I had, but that's unlikely. Sorry for this chapter. :/ Have a wonderful life everyone!


	12. Beginning

Oh my. You thought this was really getting updated? That is really quite unfortunate.

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS' EVERYONE!

I will delete this chapter tomorrow. These are words are just for a fooling word count. But what if I actually wrote a story within this massive paragraph? I could do that. What do you think? Do you think I should do that? What if I did. That would take time and effort. And I have so much to do this week. A psych article to read before 5 pm tomorrow. A Spanish quiz and dramatization Wednesday. And let's not forget about my history paper due Friday that I haven't started on! But I really don't want to do any of that. I'd much rather actually have the time and energy to work on fanfiction. I really would. But there's just so much to do. Who'd have thunk that higher education would be such a timely affair? Not me, friend. (That's a lie.) No, I thought it would all be alcohol and shenanigans. When I walked onto campus and it wasn't exactly like _Animal House_, one cannot imagine my disappointment. I thought the bros and I would walk onto campus and own the place. Instead I have to do work and write papers and learn. Gosh darn it, learning is such a difficult thing to do. But I am lucky, because I have the opportunity to do so.

I will delete this chapter tomorrow. These are words are just for a fooling word count. But what if I actually wrote a story within this massive paragraph? I could do that. What do you think? Do you think I should do that? What if I did. That would take time and effort. And I have so much to do this week. A psych article to read before 5 pm tomorrow. A Spanish quiz and dramatization Wednesday. And let's not forget about my history paper due Friday that I haven't started on! But I really don't want to do any of that. I'd much rather actually have the time and energy to work on fanfiction. I really would. But there's just so much to do. Who'd have thunk that higher education would be such a timely affair? Not me, friend. (That's a lie.) No, I thought it would all be alcohol and shenanigans. When I walked onto campus and it wasn't exactly like _Animal House_, one cannot imagine my disappointment. I thought the bros and I would walk onto campus and own the place. Instead I have to do work and write papers and learn. Gosh darn it, learning is such a difficult thing to do. But I am lucky, because I have the opportunity to do so.

I will delete this chapter tomorrow. These are words are just for a fooling word count. But what if I actually wrote a story within this massive paragraph? I could do that. What do you think? Do you think I should do that? What if I did. That would take time and effort. And I have so much to do this week. A psych article to read before 5 pm tomorrow. A Spanish quiz and dramatization Wednesday. And let's not forget about my history paper due Friday that I haven't started on! But I really don't want to do any of that. I'd much rather actually have the time and energy to work on fanfiction. I really would. But there's just so much to do. Who'd have thunk that higher education would be such a timely affair? Not me, friend. (That's a lie.) No, I thought it would all be alcohol and shenanigans. When I walked onto campus and it wasn't exactly like _Animal House_, one cannot imagine my disappointment. I thought the bros and I would walk onto campus and own the place. Instead I have to do work and write papers and learn. Gosh darn it, learning is such a difficult thing to do. But I am lucky, because I have the opportunity to do so.

I will delete this chapter tomorrow. These are words are just for a fooling word count. But what if I actually wrote a story within this massive paragraph? I could do that. What do you think? Do you think I should do that? What if I did. That would take time and effort. And I have so much to do this week. A psych article to read before 5 pm tomorrow. A Spanish quiz and dramatization Wednesday. And let's not forget about my history paper due Friday that I haven't started on! But I really don't want to do any of that. I'd much rather actually have the time and energy to work on fanfiction. I really would. But there's just so much to do. Who'd have thunk that higher education would be such a timely affair? Not me, friend. (That's a lie.) No, I thought it would all be alcohol and shenanigans. When I walked onto campus and it wasn't exactly like _Animal House_, one cannot imagine my disappointment. I thought the bros and I would walk onto campus and own the place. Instead I have to do work and write papers and learn. Gosh darn it, learning is such a difficult thing to do. But I am lucky, because I have the opportunity to do so.

I will delete this chapter tomorrow. These are words are just for a fooling word count. But what if I actually wrote a story within this massive paragraph? I could do that. What do you think? Do you think I should do that? What if I did. That would take time and effort. And I have so much to do this week. A psych article to read before 5 pm tomorrow. A Spanish quiz and dramatization Wednesday. And let's not forget about my history paper due Friday that I haven't started on! But I really don't want to do any of that. I'd much rather actually have the time and energy to work on fanfiction. I really would. But there's just so much to do. Who'd have thunk that higher education would be such a timely affair? Not me, friend. (That's a lie.) No, I thought it would all be alcohol and shenanigans. When I walked onto campus and it wasn't exactly like _Animal House_, one cannot imagine my disappointment. I thought the bros and I would walk onto campus and own the place. Instead I have to do work and write papers and learn. Gosh darn it, learning is such a difficult thing to do. But I am lucky, because I have the opportunity to do so.

I will delete this chapter tomorrow. These are words are just for a fooling word count. But what if I actually wrote a story within this massive paragraph? I could do that. What do you think? Do you think I should do that? What if I did. That would take time and effort. And I have so much to do this week. A psych article to read before 5 pm tomorrow. A Spanish quiz and dramatization Wednesday. And let's not forget about my history paper due Friday that I haven't started on! But I really don't want to do any of that. I'd much rather actually have the time and energy to work on fanfiction. I really would. But there's just so much to do. Who'd have thunk that higher education would be such a timely affair? Not me, friend. (That's a lie.) No, I thought it would all be alcohol and shenanigans. When I walked onto campus and it wasn't exactly like _Animal House_, one cannot imagine my disappointment. I thought the bros and I would walk onto campus and own the place. Instead I have to do work and write papers and learn. Gosh darn it, learning is such a difficult thing to do. But I am lucky, because I have the opportunity to do so.

I will delete this chapter tomorrow. These are words are just for a fooling word count. But what if I actually wrote a story within this massive paragraph? I could do that. What do you think? Do you think I should do that? What if I did. That would take time and effort. And I have so much to do this week. A psych article to read before 5 pm tomorrow. A Spanish quiz and dramatization Wednesday. And let's not forget about my history paper due Friday that I haven't started on! But I really don't want to do any of that. I'd much rather actually have the time and energy to work on fanfiction. I really would. But there's just so much to do. Who'd have thunk that higher education would be such a timely affair? Not me, friend. (That's a lie.) No, I thought it would all be alcohol and shenanigans. When I walked onto campus and it wasn't exactly like _Animal House_, one cannot imagine my disappointment. I thought the bros and I would walk onto campus and own the place. Instead I have to do work and write papers and learn. Gosh darn it, learning is such a difficult thing to do. But I am lucky, because I have the opportunity to do so.

I will delete this chapter tomorrow. These are words are just for a fooling word count. But what if I actually wrote a story within this massive paragraph? I could do that. What do you think? Do you think I should do that? What if I did. That would take time and effort. And I have so much to do this week. A psych article to read before 5 pm tomorrow. A Spanish quiz and dramatization Wednesday. And let's not forget about my history paper due Friday that I haven't started on! But I really don't want to do any of that. I'd much rather actually have the time and energy to work on fanfiction. I really would. But there's just so much to do. Who'd have thunk that higher education would be such a timely affair? Not me, friend. (That's a lie.) No, I thought it would all be alcohol and shenanigans. When I walked onto campus and it wasn't exactly like _Animal House_, one cannot imagine my disappointment. I thought the bros and I would walk onto campus and own the place. Instead I have to do work and write papers and learn. Gosh darn it, learning is such a difficult thing to do. But I am lucky, because I have the opportunity to do so.

I will delete this chapter tomorrow. These are words are just for a fooling word count. But what if I actually wrote a story within this massive paragraph? I could do that. What do you think? Do you think I should do that? What if I did. That would take time and effort. And I have so much to do this week. A psych article to read before 5 pm tomorrow. A Spanish quiz and dramatization Wednesday. And let's not forget about my history paper due Friday that I haven't started on! But I really don't want to do any of that. I'd much rather actually have the time and energy to work on fanfiction. I really would. But there's just so much to do. Who'd have thunk that higher education would be such a timely affair? Not me, friend. (That's a lie.) No, I thought it would all be alcohol and shenanigans. When I walked onto campus and it wasn't exactly like _Animal House_, one cannot imagine my disappointment. I thought the bros and I would walk onto campus and own the place. Instead I have to do work and write papers and learn. Gosh darn it, learning is such a difficult thing to do. But I am lucky, because I have the opportunity to do so.

I will delete this chapter tomorrow. These are words are just for a fooling word count. But what if I actually wrote a story within this massive paragraph? I could do that. What do you think? Do you think I should do that? What if I did. That would take time and effort. And I have so much to do this week. A psych article to read before 5 pm tomorrow. A Spanish quiz and dramatization Wednesday. And let's not forget about my history paper due Friday that I haven't started on! But I really don't want to do any of that. I'd much rather actually have the time and energy to work on fanfiction. I really would. But there's just so much to do. Who'd have thunk that higher education would be such a timely affair? Not me, friend. (That's a lie.) No, I thought it would all be alcohol and shenanigans. When I walked onto campus and it wasn't exactly like _Animal House_, one cannot imagine my disappointment. I thought the bros and I would walk onto campus and own the place. Instead I have to do work and write papers and learn. Gosh darn it, learning is such a difficult thing to do. But I am lucky, because I have the opportunity to do so.

I will delete this chapter tomorrow. These are words are just for a fooling word count. But what if I actually wrote a story within this massive paragraph? I could do that. What do you think? Do you think I should do that? What if I did. That would take time and effort. And I have so much to do this week. A psych article to read before 5 pm tomorrow. A Spanish quiz and dramatization Wednesday. And let's not forget about my history paper due Friday that I haven't started on! But I really don't want to do any of that. I'd much rather actually have the time and energy to work on fanfiction. I really would. But there's just so much to do. Who'd have thunk that higher education would be such a timely affair? Not me, friend. (That's a lie.) No, I thought it would all be alcohol and shenanigans. When I walked onto campus and it wasn't exactly like _Animal House_, one cannot imagine my disappointment. I thought the bros and I would walk onto campus and own the place. Instead I have to do work and write papers and learn. Gosh darn it, learning is such a difficult thing to do. But I am lucky, because I have the opportunity to do so.


End file.
